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Thread: French Invasion Of North America? LOL

  1. #1
    Senior Member 102first_hussars's Avatar
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    French Invasion Of North America? LOL

    I stumbled upon this and once I read it I could not stop laughing at its sarcasm.



    Mr. President:



    Our agents have been intercepting messages from Paris indicating a plot outlining the invasion of North America.

    It appears that after attaining a foothold in the northeastern part of the continent, (called "Quebec"), France has been able to infiltrate the country of "Canada" (the large country immediately to the north of us). Right under our noses, the French have been installing "puppet" (people under the control of France) Prime Ministers for the last 40 or so years.

    Under the reign of these "Prime Ministers", the country of "Canada" has become "Francanised" (made French-like). They have installed "sleeper agents" (agents pretending to do the job, but waiting for orders from France) into all of the senior positions of the public service, military, and propaganda department (known as the "Canadian Broadcasting Corporation" or "CBC"), by instating an "official Bilingualism" (all applicants must be French) policy.

    The France-controlled "puppet" government, AKA (also known as) the "Liberals" (no, seriously, that’s what they are called!), appear to have the majority of the "Canadian" (people of "Canada") population completely "brainwashed" (under their complete control). Anyone dissenting (refusing to go along with) from the Francanisation are ostracized (made to look like ostriches) and labeled "red neck" (i.e. Texan), "neo-con" (i.e. Republican), "Westerners" (people from the western part of "Canada"), "Neanderthal" (cave man), etc., etc.

    In a final stroke before the invasion, the puppet Prime Minister has announced the new "Governor General" (the "head of state" or "big boss") is to be "Madame Jean", a French dual citizen (holds citizenship from France and Canada) from the propaganda department (CBC). This position is not only the "head of state", but also the "commander in chief" of the Canadian armed forces (like you are of the US military).

    When this new "Governor General" takes power (September 27th , 2005) it is believed she will direct the Canadian military to assault the border, backed by French troops.

    Recommendations: 1- Invade Afghanistan,
    2- Invade Iraq,
    3- Impose sanctions against Cuba

    End of report.

    "Everyone’s been led to believe the invasion of Iraq was for oil", says Tom, also an "Iraq invasion" expert, "but, like I’ve been saying all along, it’s due to the Canadian threat."




    Im gonna add some more to this.

    4. All three soldiers comprising (forming) the rest of today's Canadian army, ably assisted by the remaining 300 French soldiers who have actually ever seen an evil gun, commence invading North Dakota from Cartwright, Manitoba, straight down provincial highway 5. They are cleverly disguised as three truck-trailer loads of beef, on the hoof.
    5. After rolling undetected through Hansboro, ND, the stealthy invastion force runs afoul of a sleepy deputy sheriff in Rock Lake, ND, due to inattentiveness. All three big rigs blow right through the village's only stop sign.
    6. Taken "forth with" to the local magistrate, the French force temporarily overpowers the Canadian army, and makes arrangements to surrender.
    7. The new GG, reacting to her French citizenship, then surrenders Quebec and all other nearby lands whose citizens really don't care, anyway, to the evil Bushitler.
    8. The evil Bushitler annexs British Columbia to Alaska, and moves the capitol to Vancouver. He annexes Alberta to Montana, and moves the capitol to Calgary. Not wanting to have to again change the number of stars on the flag, he changes the name of the rest of the territory to Northern Rock Lake, and arranges for Austalia to administer it as an under-developed territory. Australia now has a site for their new penal colony.
    9. All of the incumbent liberal politians remaining in Northern Rock Lake are taken into custody and given the option of going to Gitmo or Haiti. Foolishly, all but the GG choose Haiti.
    10. The following day life on the plains returns to normal
    Hello me...meet the real me.
    And my misfits way of life.
    A dark black past is my
    Most valued possession.
    Hindsight is always 20-20,
    But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
    Speak of mutually assured destruction?
    Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!!

  2. #2
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    Hussars you are dumb. If you really think that Bush is going to invade Canada you are putz! Really your crap is annoying, please stop.


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  3. #3
    Senior Member Nonskimmer's Avatar
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    "Blame Canada, Blame Canada..."
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  4. #4
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    I guess, doesn't some of Hussars rambling here really annoy you NS, you know being that you are Canadian also?


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  5. #5
    Senior Member Nonskimmer's Avatar
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    I'm actually somewhat indifferent to a lot of that sort of talk, because I see it on television all the time. It's ingrained in the Canadian psyche to such an extent that so many people actually do believe this sort of thing. There comes a point when you get tired of arguing with people over it and you just want to tune it out.

    It comes down to the fact that you can either laugh or cry about it, and I'd just rather laugh. What the hell.
    Besides, I think he was joking.

  6. #6
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    He may have been joking but it is really hard to tell, because he throws out ignorant stuff like this all the time.


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  7. #7
    Senior Member lesofprimus's Avatar
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    because he throws out ignorant stuff like this all the time.
    LMFAO....



  8. #8
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    I think most people here woudl agree with me. I know you do Les.


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  9. #9
    Senior Member Maestro's Avatar
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    You know, I once heard that English-Canadians were made of two types of men : the ones "descending directly" from British/Scottish/Irish colons and the ones who are Americans who crapped in their pants during the American Revolution and fled to Canada to remain the King's minion.

    The second group has now evolved and is pissing on the USA, seeing that they missed an opportunity to become completely free.

    I think that Hussars is part of the second group...

  10. #10
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    LOL


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  11. #11
    Senior Member 102first_hussars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maestro
    You know, I once heard that English-Canadians were made of two types of men : the ones "descending directly" from British/Scottish/Irish colons and the ones who are Americans who crapped in their pants during the American Revolution and fled to Canada to remain the King's minion.

    The second group has now evolved and is pissing on the USA, seeing that they missed an opportunity to become completely free.

    I think that Hussars is part of the second group...
    Actually Maestro I am in no way a descendant of the U.S.

    My mothers family (The Campbells) are of Pure Scottish descent and my fathers family is made up of Pure French descent, French descent hey you and I could be brothers eh? How big is your nose and how tall are you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nonskimmer
    I'm actually somewhat indifferent to a lot of that sort of talk, because I see it on television all the time. It's ingrained in the Canadian psyche to such an extent that so many people actually do believe this sort of thing. There comes a point when you get tired of arguing with people over it and you just want to tune it out.

    It comes down to the fact that you can either laugh or cry about it, and I'd just rather laugh. What the hell.
    Besides, I think he was joking.
    Yes N.S. you are absolutely right I am joking, and I applaud you for being mature enough to see that, you also know that what I say about you guys leaving the hatch open and crashing helicopters is also just in good fun.
    Hello me...meet the real me.
    And my misfits way of life.
    A dark black past is my
    Most valued possession.
    Hindsight is always 20-20,
    But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
    Speak of mutually assured destruction?
    Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!!

  12. #12
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    Yes Hussars I figured the top part you were kidding on, however the bottom part where you said you wanted to add stuff, sounds just like the regular crap that we all know you sceriously mean and for that reason, no one can tell with this crap.


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  13. #13
    Senior Member 102first_hussars's Avatar
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    The bottom part is also a joke, nowhere does it say anything about Bush invading Canada, its a joke about Canada invading the states, read it over again thoroughly and you will see that I am making fun of myself, Canda and France, please you and everyone else got it in your heads that I am out on a mission to **** on the states, you and everyone else percieve everything I say as "Ignorant" when its not true.

    And for the record My opinion about canada invading the states, its not even an opinion I listed it as a possibility, and there were alot of other possibilities posted that were bogus.
    Hello me...meet the real me.
    And my misfits way of life.
    A dark black past is my
    Most valued possession.
    Hindsight is always 20-20,
    But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
    Speak of mutually assured destruction?
    Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!!

  14. #14
    Der Crew Chief DerAdlerIstGelandet's Avatar
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    Oh really whats this then:

    8. The evil Bushitler annexs British Columbia to Alaska, and moves the capitol to Vancouver. He annexes Alberta to Montana, and moves the capitol to Calgary. Not wanting to have to again change the number of stars on the flag, he changes the name of the rest of the territory to Northern Rock Lake, and arranges for Austalia to administer it as an under-developed territory. Australia now has a site for their new penal colony.
    Since when is Alberta and British Columbia a part of the US?


    fly boy:"isnt that the first jet bomber becasue i have flown one in a flight sim before and i know how it handles"

  15. #15
    Senior Member 102first_hussars's Avatar
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    My god do you bleed and bruise just a little when someone says something bad about anything American?

    Well guess what? I dont like Bush I think he is an *******, I think Kerry won, I dont like Bush but that doesnt mean I hate america.


    And you are ignorant because you are still fixsated on one topic and didnt bother to acknowledge this.

    And for the record My opinion about canada invading the states, its not even an opinion I listed it as a possibility, and there were alot of other possibilities posted that were bogus.
    Hello me...meet the real me.
    And my misfits way of life.
    A dark black past is my
    Most valued possession.
    Hindsight is always 20-20,
    But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
    Speak of mutually assured destruction?
    Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!!

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