Quotes and Jokes (3 Viewers)
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Crimea_River
Marshal
Have our nudity standards been relaxed? Not that I mind, just that I've had stuff removed.......
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
OK.... censored.
OK Andy thanks ALLOTTT I was really hoping to look at some 80yr ole breast today and see if ole Histler had good taste or not
Crimea_River
Marshal
A4K
Brigadier General
Damn, I was late in seeing the pic by the sounds..!!!
Crimea_River
Marshal
Nothing you haven't seen before Evan.
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
Subject: Why some gun laws are bad
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his 1911 Colt .45 with a 7-round magazine plus one in the chamber and yelled, "Who in here has been screwing my wife?"
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo."
Just another example of why you need to own high-capacity firearms.
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his 1911 Colt .45 with a 7-round magazine plus one in the chamber and yelled, "Who in here has been screwing my wife?"
A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo."
Just another example of why you need to own high-capacity firearms.
A lawyer with a very swollen penis is coming to a doctor.
- What happened ? ... asked the medic.
- It has been a woman of course but not a vacuum cleaner. And we will stick to this version ... answered the jurist.
In a court of law:
- Has the defendant given narcotics to the witness?
- No, I haven't.
- And has your wife given?
- Are we still talking about drugs?
- What happened ? ... asked the medic.
- It has been a woman of course but not a vacuum cleaner. And we will stick to this version ... answered the jurist.
In a court of law:
- Has the defendant given narcotics to the witness?
- No, I haven't.
- And has your wife given?
- Are we still talking about drugs?
might bring a smile to the face
CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...
Man
who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like
spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping must
beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not
find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to
conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs
behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run
for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who
is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at
night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to
fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get
there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who
live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who
fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Finally CONFUCIUS DID
SAY. . ...
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger
Wood!"
CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...
Man
who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like
spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping must
beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not
find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to
conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs
behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run
for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who
is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at
night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to
fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get
there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who
live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who
fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Finally CONFUCIUS DID
SAY. . ...
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger
Wood!"
