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07-03-2009, 12:58 PM
| #1 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 2,221
| Encounters With The Moronic Just thought if anybody wants to share experiences of encountring morons, you can put it here.At best we can get a cheap laugh.  Here's one my dad told me. He's been told by two different people that the best way to solve the gas prices is to release the strategic oil reserve, he had a good laugh with that one.
__________________ "Never was so much owed by so many to so few"- Winston Churchill.  |
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07-03-2009, 02:39 PM
| #2 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 10,280
| My neighbor is a admitted socialist. He told me that any new invention must be approved for being a "green product" and its useful to everyone.
__________________ "Pilot to copilot..... what are those mountain goats doing up here in the clouds?" |
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07-03-2009, 10:47 PM
| #3 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 510
| Well, where Vassili and I work, we had a guy come in last month, called Straw Hat Man, on account that he wears this crappy staw hat everytime he comes into the store. He fat, in his fiftie's, and is s@@@faced everytime he walks into the store. One day, he walks into the package store that we have, and is trying to buy some beer. The cashier at hand, Jeana, did not sell it to him because he was smashed at the time. He gets pissed off, and starts yelling at Jeana, and doing so knocks alot of beer and other alcohol on the floor. The state cops come, and try to get him out quietly. Straw Hat Man decides to punch on of the cops, or at least tries to. The cops hurl his ass to the ground, in doing so knocking other alcohol to the floor. He's then hurled out in handcuffs, and is now forbidden from coming into the Coop again.
__________________ "It is my considered opinion that in the fullness of time history will record the greatness of Michael Collins, and it will be recorded at my expense." -Eamon de Valera. "Better to fight for something than live for nothing." -George S. Patton. "I don't know what the effect of the men will have on the enemy, but, by god, they frighten me." -Arthur Wellesley. |
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07-04-2009, 08:32 AM
| #4 |
| Minister of Whoopass   Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Long Island Native in Mississippi
Posts: 17,500
| I dont even know where to start..... But yesterday, while buying fireworks, this gentleman was assisting me.... I asked him about several different roman candle products as well as bottle rockets... Each time he had to mimick my questions to the nice lady working the stand with him... Each fu*king time she read it off the label on the package with the point of a finger.... After the third time, I realized the poor fu*kin schlep couldnt read a goddamn word of the English vocabulary... And he was a 40ish white guy....
__________________  My IL2 Video Tribute to My Grandfather: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtzN5RuNNJk |
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07-05-2009, 09:59 PM
| #5 | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 510
| Quote:
 I've thought I've seen some dumb people in my life, but that really takes the cake.Another story we have at the Coop: Friday night, big redneck guy comes in with his wife, and starts complaining to the cashiers. Apparently, the manwich can that he bought had a dent in it, and told us that the chemicals could seep into the meat and kill him. Also apparently, twenty years ago, a friend of his died, supposedly after eating a manwich can with a dent in it too. Because of this, the redneck told the cashiers that we could get sued because of this. For some reason, I'm not convinced by this guy.
__________________ "It is my considered opinion that in the fullness of time history will record the greatness of Michael Collins, and it will be recorded at my expense." -Eamon de Valera. "Better to fight for something than live for nothing." -George S. Patton. "I don't know what the effect of the men will have on the enemy, but, by god, they frighten me." -Arthur Wellesley. Last edited by Ferdinand Foch; 07-05-2009 at 10:04 PM. | |
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07-05-2009, 10:15 PM
| #6 | |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Redding, California
Posts: 3,347
| Quote:
His friend, who I imagine was alot like him, probably forgot to chew his food, and choked to death. Tell him to tighten the strap on his foil helmet, close his mouth when he breaths and to please, for the love of God, avoid having children...
__________________  "Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future." - Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of Rome > I Support Doug Gillis < | |
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07-05-2009, 10:24 PM
| #7 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 2,221
| I was thinking the last words of his buddy was "Hey man watch 'eis".
__________________ "Never was so much owed by so many to so few"- Winston Churchill. |
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07-05-2009, 10:38 PM
| #8 | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 510
| Quote:
 Personally, I think his friend died from a combination of manwich, ten bottles of whiskey, and trying to figure our which end of a loaded shotgun do the bullets come out of.
__________________ "It is my considered opinion that in the fullness of time history will record the greatness of Michael Collins, and it will be recorded at my expense." -Eamon de Valera. "Better to fight for something than live for nothing." -George S. Patton. "I don't know what the effect of the men will have on the enemy, but, by god, they frighten me." -Arthur Wellesley. | |
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07-05-2009, 10:38 PM
| #9 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Brownhills, W. Mids, UK
Posts: 1,189
 | A quite large drunk guy decided to jump off the footpath in front of my car on the way home. I kinda saw he was going to do it and instinctively braked and swerved, which amused him greatly. I wonder if perhaps I should have just carried on, but then again he was a big chap and I'm not convinced my Astra would have come off better than him
__________________ Good generals think about tactics. Great generals think about logistics. "If freedom is to be saved and enlarged, poverty must be ended. There is no other solution." - Nye Bevan "Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to ask for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee" - John Donne, Meditation XVII |
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07-05-2009, 10:40 PM
| #10 | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 510
| Quote:
__________________ "It is my considered opinion that in the fullness of time history will record the greatness of Michael Collins, and it will be recorded at my expense." -Eamon de Valera. "Better to fight for something than live for nothing." -George S. Patton. "I don't know what the effect of the men will have on the enemy, but, by god, they frighten me." -Arthur Wellesley. | |
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07-05-2009, 10:44 PM
| #11 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Brownhills, W. Mids, UK
Posts: 1,189
| He had a bunch of other large drunk guys with him too, I don't think I could have got em all in one go Seriously, I would be greatly upset if I had to pay to have a drunk-sized dent taken out of my car, I am irrationally proud of it and it's by far the most expensive thing I own, so I would not be happy paying for the repairs on it
__________________ Good generals think about tactics. Great generals think about logistics. "If freedom is to be saved and enlarged, poverty must be ended. There is no other solution." - Nye Bevan "Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to ask for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee" - John Donne, Meditation XVII |
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07-05-2009, 10:45 PM
| #12 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Redding, California
Posts: 3,347
| Oh yeah, another good reason to avoid hitting the idiot, BT...your car insurance premium will go up.
__________________ "Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future." - Marcus Aurelius, Emperor of Rome > I Support Doug Gillis < |
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07-05-2009, 11:24 PM
| #13 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: South Shore of Nova Scotia
Posts: 304
| I'm turning a gigantic old barn into a playhouse for a millionaire. There's three levels of lofts on either side of an open central area, and the rough stairs aren't in, so you have to climb ladders to get up and down. The sub doing the wiring has hired one of the electrician's son as a helper (He just graduated from high school) Anyway, I'm on the top loft on one side sorting something out with one of the electricians (not the father), and the kid is over on the the other top loft where he's supposed to be boring holes for the wiring. He climbs all the way down, crosses the floor, and then climbs up to our level so he can ask the electrician a question. You wanna know what this new high school graduate asked him? "What's half of 37?" Jeeeez.... JL |
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07-05-2009, 11:32 PM
| #14 | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Stafford Springs, Connecticut
Posts: 510
| Quote:
__________________ "It is my considered opinion that in the fullness of time history will record the greatness of Michael Collins, and it will be recorded at my expense." -Eamon de Valera. "Better to fight for something than live for nothing." -George S. Patton. "I don't know what the effect of the men will have on the enemy, but, by god, they frighten me." -Arthur Wellesley. | |
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07-06-2009, 11:18 AM
| #15 | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Phila, Pa
Posts: 3,446
| Quote:
I've got one from a few weeks back. Was landing at my airport after being out and about for a few hours and, on final, I see an airplane in the woods off to the left. A little disconcerting, to say the least, to see that when your landing and not know what it was there for. Anyway, I land (gingerly) and taxi back to the hangers. Ask somebody over there what happened. They said the guy was landing, on his roll out, no problem and, after covering about 75% of the runway and not going more than 25mph, he hits the throttles to do a touch and go. Not enough room. But that isn't what put him in. The torque threw the plane off the runway and straight into the woods. Nobody hurt, but now the pilot is pretty much the low man on the totem pole. Lucky for him actually, if he had hit and tried to take off, he would've gone off the end of the runway and straight into heavy traffic on the localy major road. Everybody is always going 65Mph. This is one clown with an angel on his shoulder. | |
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