Get Lucky! (1 Viewer)

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I think this pic needs a little explaining
in the area and not so much as hello
 

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The scream that burst forth from my throat would have made a 5yr old proud! The thing on the wing was now at the window, breathing heavily and pressed up against the glass like he was at a Victoria Secret's store-front! He put a new definition on the term "road kill". I tried to stop the yelling but I couldn't control myself. I turned to Jabba the Hutt , with my mouth drooling and throwing spit and almost started to laugh as his face made birthing contortions as he struggled to get out of his seat. The stewardesses dropped trays and bed sheets and started to converge on me. All I could do was point. Point at the window as the thing smiled and started to write something in the frost that his breath made on the window. I finally moved my feet and took a step back, bumping into Cindy, who grabbed me in a Heimlich hold. Christ she was strong! The screaming stopped but now I couldn't breathe!! Remembering my days as Biggie Smalls' body-guard, I applied a katate-dori move on her. She yelped and released me, falling into the growing group of passengers behind her.

I fell forward onto my hands and knees and was again staring at the window. The thing was gone. What he wrote was still visible, gradually fading as the jetstream of the plane washed it away. But not before I could read what it had written.

"Save the Cheerleader, Save the world."

That was when an intense pain woke me up to the real world.
Sasquatch had finally gotten out of his seat and was now standing over me, with his fat hand between my crotch, gripping for all he could.
"You're not going anywhere, funnyboy!" he hissed and tried to lift me off the floor by my jewels and onto the seats. The pain shot through the top of my skull and for the second time in as many minutes, I screamed so loud I heard cocktail glasses breaking in First Class.
"You stagnant pond scum licker, get off my balls!!!" was all I could shout through the pain and filled bladder.
Then above the yelling, shouting, smashing glass, bad elevator music and the Yahtzee game in the corner, I heard someone with a deep, gruff voice shout, "Scrum!" followed by "Balls Out!" I saw through my tears that the rugby team that was four rows behind me, now stood up as one and rushed each other, taking a blonde and her kid with them. Only problem was I apparently was the focal point of this crazy melee as they started to jump and collapse on top of the Pillsbury Doughboy and myself. And now for the second time in as many minutes the wind was knocked out of me.

Gasping for air underneath that pile of jock-straps, I almost choked on the smell of feet and wet dog. I could see bits of old chewing gum under the seats as I tried to grab a chair leg and drag myself out. I was beating back conciousness when suddenly the floor of the plane pitched and I could hear the engines immediately go into a high-pitched whine. What now? I thought and winced as someone farted 6 inches from my face. The new angle of the floor dropped a couple of the dopes off the top but not before I tried one last time to wiggle free and then I blacked-out.
 

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"Is it safe?"
The words rattled me back to conciousness. My eyes focused on what turned out to be a fluorescent ceiling light with the remains of dead bugs and a condom in the lamp. I slowly lifted my head and could see that I was laying on some type of gurney, in the middle of a large room, filled with people.
"Is it safe enough to move him?"
The person speaking was standing next to me, talking to some goofball who looked like he could suck an egg from a chicken. Looking around, I realized I was in an airport concourse. People were moving back and forth like ants at a picnic and a few were talking to some offical looking dudes that were taking notes on little clipboards. A grand parade of lifeless packaging. I sat up on the moving bed.

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
zone." the intercom blared above the din.

I tried to gather myself together and watched the human traffic for a few seconds. I finally decided I had to strain the potatoes.
"Hey, bozo! Which way to the bathroom?" I said to Mr. Safe, who appeared to have the warm personal charm of a millipede.
'You can't go just yet, sir." he said without so much as a glance my way.

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the red
zone." echoed down the concourse in a C3P0 voice.

"Why the hell not?" I said, "What the hell's going on and where am I?"
Lizard lips finally turned to face me.
"We're at Campbelltown Airport and before you go anywhere I'm sure someone in authority will be wanting to speak to you." he said, dryly. I watched as on old lady walked up to a skycap and asked, "Did we land or were we shot down?" and then as she was escorted away among the throng.
"Talk to me about what?"
"About what you saw on the wing." he shot back. "There's a lot of damage and a lot of questions."
I shook as a shiver ran down my arms. The air-conditioning had kicked on. I didn't want to relive the experience on the plane again and I wasn't about to spend a few hours going over it with some rent-a-bobbie looking for a promotion. I needed to get Lucky and end this trip.

"The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only, there is no stopping in the white
zone." droned on.

"Hey, listen," I said, "let me hit the head for a second. I'm about busting a gut here. Let me take a leak and I'll be right back."
Stephen Hawkings appeared to think it over for a second, looked over his shoulder twice then stared at me with the hardest face he could make. I thought he was pinching a loaf.
"Alright," he said, "But get back here in 2 minutes or I'm coming in and dragging you out."
"Great!" I said and slid off the gurney, clapping him on the shoulder. He looked like he needed a cue card to say "Huh?"

Above me another voice shouted, "NO! The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading and there is no stopping in the red zone."

I laughed to myself as I disappeared into the crowd. Pauley Shore would be funny again before he'd see me back! As I blended in with the crowd, I passed several large windows that looked out onto the tarmac. I could see them bringing in the plane. The area on the wing around the engine was torn up, like someone took a can-opener to the thing. Glad I was off that ride!

I burst through an Exit door and out into sunshine and the airport parking lot, thinking chaos, panic, and disorder...my work here was done. Now to find a toilet and get Lucky!
 

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Looks like Santa's little helpers practicing in case the reindeer teams break down...

..Another classic chapter in the continuing saga we've all come to know and love! :)

Hope things are good at home too mate.
 
Great stuff buddy! This thread will become a classic....:D 8) I hope that everything is going your way at the homefront mate....
 
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The Monopoly "Get Lucky" Edition game combines the best of classic Monopoly with out-of-date Pong computer games. Unlike the original version, players now operate with Confederate money, learn real-world insults, competition cooking, try to stay out of jail, and try their best to get filthy rich. But this version has been updated to reflect changes in how Lucky someone can be with no job, no college degree and no looks. Comes with title deed cards, chance and community chest cards, 6 MAC cards, 9 dice, 6 subway tokens, 2 houses, 400 hotels, G.I. Joe figurines, and limited-edition, hand-numbered, glow-in-the-dark condoms. "Get Lucky" Monopoly will be sure to bring a smile to even Grandma's leather face!

For ages 8 to 127.
 

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