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04-05-2008, 11:27 AM
| #91 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A Swede living in Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 17,331
| Well, if he was here to do his bl**dy job, this wouldn't have happened...  Aaah.....so that's where he's getting his inspiration from...
__________________  JAN "Felicis Tredecim" "I´m going back to the front to relax" "THE BLACK CATS FLIES TONIGHT" "Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant!" "When you're out of F-8's... You're out of fighters!"  |
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04-05-2008, 11:27 AM
| #92 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 2,218
| Man that chick is FUGLEY!
__________________  Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. |
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04-05-2008, 11:30 AM
| #93 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A Swede living in Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 17,331
| Don't see her in those Gillette commercials on tv, do you? ......"The best a man can get...."
__________________ JAN "Felicis Tredecim" "I´m going back to the front to relax" "THE BLACK CATS FLIES TONIGHT" "Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant!" "When you're out of F-8's... You're out of fighters!" |
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04-05-2008, 11:32 AM
| #94 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 2,218
| OH MY GOD!!!! imagine that in the morning!  they dont make enough beer for that one!
__________________ Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. |
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04-05-2008, 11:35 AM
| #95 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A Swede living in Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 17,331
| Not even enough single malt whisky, rum, vodka or gin!
__________________ JAN "Felicis Tredecim" "I´m going back to the front to relax" "THE BLACK CATS FLIES TONIGHT" "Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant!" "When you're out of F-8's... You're out of fighters!" |
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04-05-2008, 03:15 PM
| #96 |
| The Pop-Tart Whisperer   Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 11,813
| I'm having a hard time getting to the next episode because these bloody roads in this god-forsaken country are *ssbackwards!! How can our hero get anywhere!!!
__________________  "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!"  Last edited by Njaco; 04-06-2008 at 06:26 AM. |
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04-05-2008, 06:47 PM
| #97 |
| aka Dickcheese  Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 14,003
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__________________  "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.] Marines don't have that problem." -- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts |
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04-05-2008, 08:07 PM
| #98 |
| The Pop-Tart Whisperer Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 11,813
| As I raced down the M74 with my backteeth floating and my lungs returning to my chest, I was wishing for a quick end to this case. Already I have experienced more than I wanted to - and some that I wanted to forget. Despite that I still couldn't believe my luck in finding a possible answer in that mag. Another hour and I was driving up to what I was looking for - the "Taste of Gotland" Pub and laundramat. Strange combo but tell me something normal? The place was done up in an off pink color, as if some Hello, Kitty had sneezed on it. I pushed through the door and found myself in a scene right out of Salvatore Dali. It was then I remembered I had a more urgent matter. I quickly looked over at the bald-headed bartender and said. "Head." He flopped the wet rag in his hand over to his left, toward a dark corner of this place where I could just make out a door with the Universal sign for water closet pasted across the front. Throwing open the door, I immediately sensed I wasn't gonna be able to shake the dew off the lily. Fen!
__________________ "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" Last edited by Njaco; 04-06-2008 at 06:27 AM. |
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04-05-2008, 08:10 PM
| #99 |
| The Pop-Tart Whisperer Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 11,813
| Shuffling back to the bar with my eyes turning yellow, I decided to try the beer. "The best ya got" I said. "Sure" he replied and it was then I noticed there were others in the place and they were staring at me. Swiveling around to face them with my best Charles Bronson face, I was hit with the fact that everybody in the place was bald! What the hell was this? A Telly Savalas fan club? A quick sound in front of me and I could see that the bar tender had slid me a glass with a possible gold liquid inside. I couldn't tell if the glass was frosty or just covered in filth and as I grabbed the handle, the bartender grumbled. "Better drink that and go" "I plan to." I shot back and downed a gulp. My mouth went numb and I desperately wanted a mouthwash chaser. I asked in a mumbled voice what the hell was the beer and Cueball answered, "Well, we're out of Tennets so I gave ya a lager." I now saw it was a Lucky Lager. Who would drink this?! I think my penis fell off ! As I struggled to finish what tasted as if someone bottled the sadness of all the terminally ill children in the world, one of the eggheads spoke. "Yo, pansy!" Every crome dome in the place started to get up and move towards me. Its going to be a long night, I realized.
__________________ "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" Last edited by Njaco; 04-29-2008 at 10:43 PM. |
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04-05-2008, 08:13 PM
| #100 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A Swede living in Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 17,331
| Great stuff Njaco....great stuff!!!
__________________ JAN "Felicis Tredecim" "I´m going back to the front to relax" "THE BLACK CATS FLIES TONIGHT" "Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant!" "When you're out of F-8's... You're out of fighters!" |
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04-05-2008, 08:57 PM
| #101 |
| aka Dickcheese Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 14,003
| F#cking brilliant!!!!
__________________ "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.] Marines don't have that problem." -- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts |
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04-06-2008, 12:05 AM
| #102 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 11,978
  | Great so far... and that roundabout picture cracked me up... It's what happens almost every time my lass is navigating. 
__________________ "When you go home tomorrow, don't expect anyone to know what you have been through. Even if they did know, most people probably wouldn't care anyway. Some of you may get the medals you deserve, many more of you will not. But remember this, all of you are now members of the front-line club, and that is the most exclusive club in the world." - Lt. Col. Matthew Maer CO 1st Battalion, the Princess of Wale's Royal Regiment. Camp Abu Naji, Oct. 2004  To those in that club. |
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04-06-2008, 05:56 AM
| #103 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 14,785
| Yes, Matt has hit the nail on the head!!  |
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04-06-2008, 08:01 PM
| #104 |
| The Pop-Tart Whisperer Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 11,813
| I watched as a Yul Brynner on a cheesecake diet stood up and slowly made his way to me. My grip tightened on the handle of the beerglass. "Who said ya could come in here, ya Bampot?!" The ten other Rogaine patients slowly followed Yul's lead and got up to stand behind him. "Who's asking?" I replied. A smile slowly appeared on Yul's shiny glazed face and I saw the others were starting to nudge each other. "The BSG!" he said with breath that smelled like a rancid herring delicacy. I pulled the glass down to my lap for better leverage and stared Yul straight in the eye. I matched his smile with one of my own but my face wasn't quite recovered from room service. "What the hell is a 'BSG'? Is that like some immigrant food additive?" The smile disappeared.
__________________ "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" |
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04-06-2008, 08:03 PM
| #105 |
| The Pop-Tart Whisperer Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 11,813
| "We're the Brittany Spears Gang and this is our house!" he said, trying to do his best Arnold impression, "and you're not welcome." I almost dropped the glass. What freakshow did I walk into? I decided it was time to leave. "What, you think I'm Doon the Dee on a digestive? There isn't any such thing as a Brittany Spears Gang. But I do have a question." I said. I wriggled off the barstool. It looked like Yul was finally getting blood to his dome as his face wrinkled up. Someone in the back pipped, "Hit him, baby, one more time!" "What's that?" he asked and took 2 steps towards me. I backed away, seeing the door about 10 feet away. If I timed this right..... "Well..." I said. "Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?" Just as quickly the blood drained from his face and in that spilt-second I made for the door. Reaching the safety of the outside, I turned to give one last parting shot when my world went black. (we take this moment to bring you a word from our sponsor)
__________________ "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" Last edited by Njaco; 04-06-2008 at 09:49 PM. |
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