Get Lucky!

[ccheese]

Originally Posted by DBII

I'm so confused??? Is this thread sponsored by Lucky Strike?

YouTube - 1948 - Lucky Strike Marching Cigarettes Ad

DBII

I remember that commercial !! I was 14 at the time....

Charles

[DBII]

I remember Luck Strike from the Jack Benny Show....LSMFT...D** I am old.

DBII

[Njaco]

The daylight hit me as I crawled through a door and into the outside world. I was in an alley and I propped myself up against a wall, trying to gather my wits. The door must have opened when I did Number One on whatever shocked the hell out of me. I smelled of burnt urine and venison as I took stock of where I was. The alley wasn't long and from the sounds of it, the sidewalk a few feet away, was busy. Gingerly I groped myself to a standing position.

Hell, this was getting tiresome! In just 24 hours I had been electrocuted, knocked over the head, screamed at by a platoon of mental midgets and cannon-balled so hard I didn't think I would have a bowel movement for a month. And I still had to take a leak - that electric shock must have shut down my bladder quicker than an onion fart. This Lucky case was starting to turn into a real pain in the arse. I wasn't getting anywhere and I was more confused than a blind lesbian in a fish market. I needed answers and I needed to get Lucky.

I stumbled along the alley and out onto the sidewalk. I was on a city street bordered by some colorful stores.

[Njaco]

Leaning against the outer wall of the first store I came to, I took in the surroundings. There were no clues as to where I was and I looked into the store window to see if the place was open. And there in the window was a poster with possibly another clue (great how these things happen, huh?). Making my way through the door, I walked straight to the salesman who was sitting behind a high counter, watching television. There was no one else in the store.
He spoke first.
"You look like crap. Is that the style now?"
My words escaped me. For a moment.
"Just came from a wedding. Listen, I need your help." I said.
He went back to his TV. "I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"
I started to get the picture. This guy was twa bubbles aff the centre with a tongue that would clip clouts.
"You've got a poster in the window and I need to know how I can get there." I said.
"Ah, suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder, are yeh. You can go to the train station on John Finnie and take her to Ardrossan where you can get a ferry over to the Isle. From there, you're on yer own. Now, If I throw a stick, will you leave?" he replied.
This guy was an expert on padded cells.
"Being the loudest kid on the short bus is not something to be proud of." I snorted.
He broke a smile, "Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up." he said.
With that he went back to his TV and I walked out into the sunlit street. I was starting to feel abit better and maybe, just maybe, by tonight I would get Lucky.

[Les'Bride]

Originally Posted by evangilder

Yep, that hurts like hell! I did it many years ago, and it won't happen again!

And for the record, Becca, it's always best to take a drink of any fluid and swallow it before opening a thread. I have wasted a couple of keyboards here.

Nice. NOW ya tell me!

[Les'Bride]

and Njaco...I'll have to concur..its fecking BRILLANT.

[ccheese]

LMAO !!!

Charles

[Matt308]

Well done.

[Wayne Little]

Yeah, LMAO too.! this is great stuff...

[Catch22]

Where'd you come up with this? Brilliant!

[A4K]

This is easily one of my favourite threads! Great stuff, Chris!

[Njaco]

I made my way through the strange little town I found myself in, past the colorful drunks in the street surrounded by Johnnie Walker bottles until I came upon John Finnie street (John Finnie Street was opened in 1864. It has some of the finest architecture in Kilmarnock. One of the specifications was that the buildings were to be constructed of red sandstone. This still remains to this day with only two of the buildings being white sandstone. The street is named after Kilmarnock born John Finnie who put up the money for the street to be constructed. Must be nice to have money....ED. history) I found the train station - the Kilmarnock Train Station, I had a town name now - and asked the wizzen-looking conductor when the next train to Ardrossan was. He mumbled that the train leaves about 3pm and shuffled off to find his personality. The clock on the platform wall showed it was 9am through the dirt, so I had a few hours to kill.

I strolled down a couple streets, taking my life into my hands, when I reached a dreary place called the Portmann Hotel. Pushing aside the doorman I went to the clerks desk and signed for a room. I needed to re-charge and prepare for the next step in this crazy carousel of a case. Reaching my room (what with the plastic flowers and the smell of potato bread that seemed to stick to everything.), I was about to head for the bathroom when a knock came to the door.

Remembering the last time someone came to my room, I grabbed a thin lamp that was sitting on a small table next to the door. At least it was daylight- I'd see what was coming. A second knock. Gripping the lamp, I answered, "Whose there?"
"Room Service." was the reply in a smallish voice.
I wasn't falling for that again. It might be her sister!
"No thanks, I gave at the office." I said.
"Please sir, may I come in?" she said.
There are times when I question myself as to why I do the things I do. This was one of those times. I opened the door slowly, with the lamp held tight, ready to swing.

But it wasn't Mamu.

A thin, beautiful brunette sheepishly walked into the room, and smiled. Stunned, I let the lamp drop from my hand and it crashed to the floor.
"Oh!" she said.
"Bill me." I replied.
"Sir, I'm here as your room service. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything?" and the smile melted me.
"Well," I started, "What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
She blushed and stood up a little taller. I relaxed and closed the door after her.
"This is just a service we provide to our new residents." she said.
I sat down on the bed, trying to look as cool as possible. Talk about getting lucky!!
"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed." I said.
"Really?" she replied and started to remove the buttons of her shirt.

[Njaco]

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[wilbur1]

NO F###ING way are you stopping this here

[Wayne Little]

Get on with the next friggin' episode then and fill in the gaps!!..