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Old 02-08-2006, 04:28 PM   #1
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If today's press reported on The Normandy Invasion

Found this little gem on the web:
Quote:
How the WWII 'D-Day Invasion' would be reported by today's liberal press...

Submitted by Tommy Gagnet



NORMANDY, FRANCE (June 6, 1944) Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more were wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a
makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated, and that reaction against the American invasion was running high. "We are dying for no reason, "said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. "Americans can't even shoot straight. I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler."

The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that
the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, thus threatening the species with extinction. A representative of Green Peace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was
appalled at the destruction, but not surprised. "This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought," said Christine Moanmore. "And it's all about corporate greed."

Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded, said the invasion was based solely
on American financial interests. "Everyone knows that President Roosevelt has ties to 'big beer'," said Pierre LeWimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."

Administration supporters said America's aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon -- a so-called "atomic bomb". Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before, and cause environmental damage that could last
for thousands of years. Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began,
reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by American soldiers. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at their so-called "concentration camps" has
been rumored, but so far this remains unproven.

Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion, and French officials are concerned that the uncollected corpses will pose a public-health risk. "The Americans should have planned for this in advance,"
they said. "It's their mess, and we don't intend to help clean it up."
http://www.edwimmer.com/mpa/wwii_dda...reporting.html
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Old 02-09-2006, 04:09 AM   #2
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Interesting find Eric, I would say that is how the would report the invasion if it occured today.
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Old 02-09-2006, 10:50 AM   #3
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Nice Evan, I remember reading that article somewhere a while ago. Pretty humorous.
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Old 02-09-2006, 01:04 PM   #4
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Haha
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Old 02-09-2006, 07:39 PM   #5
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There's one of them articles on "If reported today.." about Okinawa or Iwo Jima - if I remember correctly.
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To those in that club.
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Old 02-09-2006, 08:18 PM   #6
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Quote:
Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded, said the invasion was based solely
on American financial interests. "Everyone knows that President Roosevelt has ties to 'big beer'," said Pierre LeWimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."
That was a good one
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Old 02-10-2006, 07:48 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plan_D
There's one of them articles on "If reported today.." about Okinawa or Iwo Jima - if I remember correctly.
I was looking for that one too. I remember that one was hilarious. I seem to not be able to find it now though.
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Old 02-10-2006, 05:55 PM   #8
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Yeap they would make it to be as the US as the aggressors.
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