jokes - Aircraft of World War II

elmilitaro · 11-29-2005, 05:36 PM

Do any of ya'll guys know any funny jokes, because tommorow I'm going to meet my girlfriend's dad and I wan't to impress him to let me date his daughter.

Pisis · 11-29-2005, 06:23 PM

OK...

There's these two Jewish families neighbouring with windows. In one window, there's living this dirty old Ruben and in the opposite window, a beautiful daughter of Mr. Kohn.
One day Mrs. Kohn tells her husband:
- "Moritz, we gotta buy curtains. Ruben is kibitzing our daughter when she changes her dress in front of the window."
- "Nope. You're going to strip there and he'll buy it!"

Try to tell him this.

plan_D · 11-30-2005, 04:49 AM

I hardly see how telling jokes would let you date his daughter. But then I've never had to meet their father - 'cos I'm pretty sure no girl goes clubbing with their dad.

Pisis · 11-30-2005, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plan_D

'cos I'm pretty sure no girl goes clubbing with their dad.

Wrong...

Gnomey · 11-30-2005, 08:04 AM

What you do Pisis?

the lancaster kicks ass · 11-30-2005, 01:06 PM

i like it pisis

ah, i remember telling moonface's dad blond jokes, but elm just try to act decent and don't try to impress him too much, he'll see right through you, if he likes you for who you are then you're fine but if he doesn't like you for who you are then no ammount of jokes are gonna solve that.........

and, one last thing, don't grope his daughter infront of him

cheddar cheese · 11-30-2005, 01:28 PM

When I first met my girlfriends dad we just talked about planes and downloading music and I was an instant success!

the lancaster kicks ass · 11-30-2005, 01:36 PM

turns out moonface's dad used to climb the trees on our farm, that was one of the first things we talked about and aparently her mum was quite impressed because most of moonface's friends didn't talk to her dad

and for the record CC i still don't approve of calling her moonface but in this case it does have some comdey effect

cheddar cheese · 11-30-2005, 01:40 PM

Turns out my girlfriends dad was in the Falklands and was part of the crew of a Nimrod, so put that in your pipe and smoke it

the lancaster kicks ass · 11-30-2005, 01:41 PM

yeah well my ex's dad could beat up your girlfriend's dad anyday

evangilder · 11-30-2005, 01:54 PM

The best thing to do is be yourself and be respectful. If you want to tell some jokes, make sure they are fairly neutral and don't mention a particular ethnic background. You never know who you might offend.

the lancaster kicks ass · 11-30-2005, 02:03 PM

and don't talk about past girlfriends................

trackend · 11-30-2005, 03:01 PM

It depends on what sort of person you are as to what approach you make.
I learned that years ago when I tried to advise a young guy on how to get a girlfriend
I said "just be yourself and be honest with her"
He said "What, tell her I'm sad and lonely and want a shag"
I gave up

the lancaster kicks ass · 11-30-2005, 03:04 PM

sounds awfully similar to someone

Pisis · 11-30-2005, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gnomey

What you do Pisis?

Usually triyng to leave before I could met someone who is already awaked...

I didn't know my ex's dad but I had a great relationship with her mum. We always discussed politics, culture, art and all that sort of "mature" stuff...

11-29-2005, 05:36 PM	#1
elmilitaro Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 405	jokes Do any of ya'll guys know any funny jokes, because tommorow I'm going to meet my girlfriend's dad and I wan't to impress him to let me date his daughter. __________________ "And when he gets to heaven, To Saint Peter he will tell; One more marine reporting, sir- I've served my time in hell." A marine gravemarker on guadalcanal

11-29-2005, 06:23 PM	#2
Pisis Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium Posts: 5,859	OK... There's these two Jewish families neighbouring with windows. In one window, there's living this dirty old Ruben and in the opposite window, a beautiful daughter of Mr. Kohn. One day Mrs. Kohn tells her husband: - "Moritz, we gotta buy curtains. Ruben is kibitzing our daughter when she changes her dress in front of the window." - "Nope. You're going to strip there and he'll buy it!" Try to tell him this. __________________ "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too." - Airplane! Memory of Nation Why Did Hitler Want Czechoslovakia WW2 Was A War That Had To Be Fought! What Really Happened in Israel? Children of Hamas

11-30-2005, 04:49 AM	#3
plan_D Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 11,978	I hardly see how telling jokes would let you date his daughter. But then I've never had to meet their father - 'cos I'm pretty sure no girl goes clubbing with their dad. __________________ "When you go home tomorrow, don't expect anyone to know what you have been through. Even if they did know, most people probably wouldn't care anyway. Some of you may get the medals you deserve, many more of you will not. But remember this, all of you are now members of the front-line club, and that is the most exclusive club in the world." - Lt. Col. Matthew Maer CO 1st Battalion, the Princess of Wale's Royal Regiment. Camp Abu Naji, Oct. 2004 To those in that club.

11-30-2005, 08:04 AM	#5
Gnomey "World Traveller" Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK Posts: 15,224	What you do Pisis? __________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts" Sir Winston Churchill "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today" Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum My Photo Collections on Flickr

11-30-2005, 01:06 PM	#6
the lancaster kicks ass Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 19,945	i like it pisis ah, i remember telling moonface's dad blond jokes, but elm just try to act decent and don't try to impress him too much, he'll see right through you, if he likes you for who you are then you're fine but if he doesn't like you for who you are then no ammount of jokes are gonna solve that......... and, one last thing, don't grope his daughter infront of him __________________ "Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy."

11-30-2005, 01:28 PM	#7
cheddar cheese Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: WSM, England Posts: 20,387	When I first met my girlfriends dad we just talked about planes and downloading music and I was an instant success!

11-30-2005, 01:36 PM	#8
the lancaster kicks ass Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 19,945	turns out moonface's dad used to climb the trees on our farm, that was one of the first things we talked about and aparently her mum was quite impressed because most of moonface's friends didn't talk to her dad and for the record CC i still don't approve of calling her moonface but in this case it does have some comdey effect __________________ "Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy."

11-30-2005, 01:40 PM	#9
cheddar cheese Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: WSM, England Posts: 20,387	Turns out my girlfriends dad was in the Falklands and was part of the crew of a Nimrod, so put that in your pipe and smoke it

11-30-2005, 01:41 PM	#10
the lancaster kicks ass Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 19,945	yeah well my ex's dad could beat up your girlfriend's dad anyday __________________ "Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy."

11-30-2005, 01:54 PM	#11
evangilder "Shooter" Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Moorpark, CA Posts: 14,809	The best thing to do is be yourself and be respectful. If you want to tell some jokes, make sure they are fairly neutral and don't mention a particular ethnic background. You never know who you might offend. __________________ http://www.vg-photo.com For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. Leonardo Da Vinci

11-30-2005, 02:03 PM	#12
the lancaster kicks ass Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 19,945	and don't talk about past girlfriends................ __________________ "Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy."

11-30-2005, 03:01 PM	#13
trackend Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canvey Island, Essex Posts: 4,029	It depends on what sort of person you are as to what approach you make. I learned that years ago when I tried to advise a young guy on how to get a girlfriend I said "just be yourself and be honest with her" He said "What, tell her I'm sad and lonely and want a shag" I gave up

11-30-2005, 03:04 PM	#14
the lancaster kicks ass Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 19,945	sounds awfully similar to someone __________________ "Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy."

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