Official Chav Thread.

Medvedya · 04-10-2005, 05:11 PM

Here's some thing to make you laugh....Oh. my. God! What a pillock!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/02/17/chav_burglar/

Found this on CS. Good isn't it?

The Chav's Prayer.

Our father, who art in brand names,
hollow be thy taste.
Thy bling will come,
hoes will be done.
On text as it in speech.
Give us this day our mindless violence.
and forgive us our unconformances,
As we assult those who conform against us.
And lead us not into education,
but deliver us from work.
For the media is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Innit.

BombTaxi · 04-10-2005, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medvedya

Ah, but by just being a student, and thus caring about anything past the next Giro cheque, any Chav crediblity you may have had has evaporated!

Ah, all is saved!

I can rest easy once again! Anyway, I think a defining factor is that I dont smoke Lamberts or drink white cider. With that taken into account, I could have wiped 20% off the score

Medvedya · 04-10-2005, 07:24 PM

Wanna hear something truly nasty? More stuff from Chavscum.

Try having a look around here at all the DeeJay Insertnamehere chavs who've cooked up some 'wiked toons innit bluv' by bastardising two different songs over the top of each other and passing it off as their own track.

Dee Jay Emma - Eminem vs Crazy Frog is particularly nasty one, a dance mix of *that* ringtone nicked off soulseek with a Eminem accapella just randomly thrown over the top. And it's so out of sinc at times it's hillarious.

http://www.audiostreet.net/TopArtists.aspx

Nonskimmer · 04-10-2005, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medvedya

Here's some thing to make you laugh....Oh. my. God! What a pillock!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/02/17/chav_burglar/

Idiot!

I love the Chav's Prayer!

Nonskimmer · 04-10-2005, 07:30 PM

That audiostreet link is just painful!

Medvedya · 04-10-2005, 07:33 PM

Ha ha ha! You can't say I didn't warn you! It's not for the faint-hearted!

Lots of them seem to come from the Fife/Dundee area (where Chavage is rampant)

Nonskimmer · 04-10-2005, 07:37 PM

Ok then, noted: Areas to avoid on next visit to the UK.

Thanks Med!

Medvedya · 04-10-2005, 07:43 PM

Well, go to St. Andrews if you're into golf.

BombTaxi · 04-10-2005, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medvedya

Well, go to St. Andrews if you're into golf.

But watch out for gents with Burberry sweaters

cheddar cheese · 04-11-2005, 04:33 AM

Damn that Chav's prayer is funny

Crippen · 04-20-2005, 06:21 PM

Med, Med, Med, I am now not just smitten.... you are my idol, firmly fix up on a pedestal.
An anti Chav thread......... I bow down before thee!
Jeez I hate um with a passion..... don't think I could face the fact of having 1% of chav in me..... so cannot 'yet' bring myself to do the test ( don't make me ).
Keep up the good work>>>>> any ideas for chav extermination....ie birth control that they don't have to 'control' ( ie....not being given a house by the council if you get pregnant at 16).

I have this visual:
Chav girl approaching ...nearly always blonde or streaked blonde hair, chewing gum, hoop earings the size of side plates, boobs popping out, skirt up their ass ... some with the hang over tum eww! I never thought I would see the day that girls had beer bellies (well that is what they look like), some have the sun bed tan, and a mouth which blurts out words that have most of the letters missing, rings on lots of fingers, and a mass of chains around their neck.
ewww! the thought of them makes me shiver
My daughter has this idea that a sars type virus, which is only present on chav chains and sovereigh and other such rings, could be the answer. How bad ass are we..... Hitlers in the making

the lancaster kicks ass · 04-21-2005, 01:57 AM

well in the future such weapons will be developed, becuase all races and people have sligtly different genitic make up, viruses will be developed that will only attack that particular difference in the genes and so for example you could make a biological weapon, drop it on a city, and it would only kill cirtian people.............

evangilder · 04-21-2005, 05:59 AM

Scary. Each generation of weapons gets more deadly and destructive. Bioweapons are the scariest because they are cheap and fairly easy to produce.

BombTaxi · 04-21-2005, 11:38 AM

I'd say a female chav is a biological weapon...anyone who's ever set foot in a Liquid nightclub and seen the endless miles of fake-tanned, VK-necking flesh will know exactly what I mean

And if you're not from the UK...you wont have a clue, but thats probably the best thing for you!