Quokes/Jokes... Continued! Chapter 3

[wilbur1]

LMAO

[Wurger]

[Wayne Little]

Excellent k9kiwi

[Wurger]

How to recognize a Persian cat?

[B-17engineer]

[Wayne Little]

Good one Wurger..

[Gundrium]

Originally Posted by syscom3

AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. And a superb plastic surgeon.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds.

You know, as someone who LIVES in said state, I can attest that is ABSOLUTLY TRUE!!!

[wilbur1]

Talikitty on a mission lol

[Njaco]

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write"Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife."Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:
"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce."

[wilbur1]

Good one nj

[Wurger]

[Wayne Little]

Excellent NJ

[Wurger]

From a soldier diary:

The first day at exercise area - my platoon participated in exercises with USMC troops ,it was a good day.

The second day - going to the exercise area my platoon met a beautiful girl.Oh these blondies.... it was a good day.

The third day - going to the exercise area my platoon met a USMC soldier who was going to a canteen, it was a good day.

The fourth day - going to the exercise area my platoon didn't meet anybody but my commander said I was going home for two days.I got a pass !!!!!
It was a good day.

The fifth day - going to a railway station I met the USMC platoon, it wasn't a good day.

[Negative Creep]

A Vampire Bat flies back to his roost, covered in blood.

'What on earth happened to you?' asked his friend
'Well,' he said 'you see that village over there?'
'Yeah....'
'See that large building?'
'Yeah...'
'Well I didn't'

[Wayne Little]

I got another one...

Irish Burial At Sea

Mick and Paddy had promised their uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring
gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.

Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their
promise.

They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and
loaded onto their rowboat. After a while Mick says, "Do yer tink dis is
fer enuff out, Paddy?"

Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to find himself standing
in water up to his knees.

"Dis'll never do, Mick. Let's row some more."

After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is
only up to his belly, so they row on.

Again Mick asks Paddy, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?"

Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No
dis'll neva do." The water was only up to his chest.

So on they row and row and row and finally Paddy slips over the side and
disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting
himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for
breath.

"Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?"

"Aye it 'tis, hand me da shovel."