 | Quokes/Jokes... Continued! Chapter 3| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jokes... Continued! Chapter 3 in the Current forums; Damn that made me laugh Matt!!... |
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03-16-2008, 09:04 AM
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#601 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Adelaide
Posts: 3,730
Country:  | Damn that made me laugh Matt!!
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03-16-2008, 10:49 AM
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#602 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 2,131
Country:  | Thats pretty cool 
__________________  Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. | |
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03-16-2008, 12:01 PM
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#603 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bucharest
Posts: 832
Country:  | That was hilarious
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These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection of a child's toy made of paper."Henri Coanda" | |
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03-16-2008, 06:41 PM
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#604 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,129
Country: | Certainly took me off guard. Great commercial.
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"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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03-16-2008, 10:38 PM
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#605 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 7,214
Country: | That was excellent! Can't wait for Erich's comment.
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"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
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03-17-2008, 08:42 AM
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#606 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,394
Country:  | Jump higher....
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"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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03-17-2008, 09:23 AM
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#607 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,544
Country:  | Couldn't read matt's ( bloody 'Fortinet' blocking everything again...) but Plan D...that was BRUTAL !!!! | |
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03-18-2008, 07:08 AM
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#608 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 4,752
Country: | V2!
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03-18-2008, 07:58 AM
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#609 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 5,861
Country: | Thats great V2! | |
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03-18-2008, 08:24 AM
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#610 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,405
Country: |
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03-18-2008, 11:47 AM
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#611 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,129
Country: | Wait for it...
__________________________________________________ __
> Have you ever wondered where the Phrase "You Gotta Be Shittin' Me"
> came from?
>
> Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our
> Country way back when, George Washington was crossing the Delaware
> River with his troops.
>
> There were 33 [remember this number] in Washington's boat. It
> was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing
> them about.
>
> Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters [remember this name] and
> stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him
> to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
>
> Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging
> the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
>
> Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Co rporal Peters
> and his lantern into the Delaware Washington and his troops searched
> for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail.
> All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their
> favorites.
>
> Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side,
> wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that
> they must go on.
>
> Another hour later, one of his men said, "General, I see lights
> ahead."
>
> They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What
> they didn't know, was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in
> the forest to serve all who came.
>
> General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
> The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
>
> A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.>
> Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I am General George
> Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and
> desperately need warmth and comfort."
>
> Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a
> broad smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come to the
> right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men
> do you have?"
>
> Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without Peters."
>
> And the Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me"
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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03-18-2008, 11:50 AM
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#612 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 2,131
Country: | Ya gotta be ****##n me thats freakin funny 
__________________ Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. | |
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03-18-2008, 12:26 PM
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#613 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,544
Country: |  Nice one matt! | |
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03-18-2008, 11:35 PM
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#614 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 804
Country: | I just heard this one today.....A guy goes into a bank and stands in line for the next teller. He gets up to the counter, pulls a gun and robs to bank. As he starts to leave he thinks to himself "Hey I shouldn't leave any witnesses." He turns to the man behind him and asks "Did you see me rob this bank?" The guy says "Yeah I saw it." BAMMM! The robber shoots him in the head. The robber then turns to the next guy in line and asks "Did you see me rob this bank?" "Yes I saw everything." replied the second witness. Ka BOOOMMM!!! The robber shoots him in the head too. Then the robber turns to the next guy in line and asks "Did you see me rob this bank?" The third man replies, pointing at the woman behind him, "No, but my wife did!"
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03-19-2008, 06:44 AM
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#615 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 5,861
Country: | Excellent Guys...
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man was so curious that he respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a
bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog
turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line." | |
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