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When I were a lad my parents were so poor they had to dress me in clothes from the Army & Navy surplus stores.
It was Ok until they sent me to school dressed as a Japanese Admiral.
Me and a mate went into a hotel the other day. I said to the receptionist "Have you got any rooms?"
She said "Do you have reservations?"
I said "I dont think much of your dress."
So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
I went to a gym, I said "I want to be able to do the splits"
The gym instructor said "how flexible are you?"
I said "I cant do thursdays"
rē."
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