Quokes/Jotes

evangilder · 04-19-2005, 06:35 AM

Yikes! At least that one had some class though.

Maestro · 04-19-2005, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nonskimmer

Maestro, did that happen in the early ninties? I seem to remember hearing a story like that a long time ago.

Hmmm... I don't know. I heard that story in 2000 or 2001 and the substitute teacher who told it to me was around 30 years old. So it is possible.

trackend · 04-22-2005, 09:03 AM

A work mate said to me today when we where discussing WW2
"You had to watch out for those Japs,
especially when they did a Bonsai charge".
Sounds pretty frighting to me all those little trees galloping at you.

Nonskimmer · 04-22-2005, 09:04 AM

It would scare me!

mosquitoman · 04-22-2005, 12:54 PM

Well, Ohka did mean Cherry Blossom!

the lancaster kicks ass · 04-22-2005, 12:55 PM

rubber ducks scare you........

FLYBOYJ · 04-22-2005, 05:58 PM

The aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln was finally inching up to the pier at Pearl Harbor when the Captain of the ship noticed a sailor on the flight deck gesturing wildly with semaphore flags. He then noticed an attractive young woman standing on top of a station wagon, also waving semaphore flags. Always concerned about security and never having seen anything like this, the Captain barked at his bridge signalman, "What message are those two people sending?" The signalman concentrated intently and soon reported, "Sir, he is sending FOXTROT-FOXTROT and she is sending ECHO-FOXTROT." Not having any clue as to what these messages could mean, the Captain dispatched an armed Marine to escort the sailor back to the Bridge. The sailor arrived, out of breath from running up the many ladders to the bridge, and saluted smartly. "Seaman Endicott reporting as ordered, sir!" "Seaman," shouted the Captain, "who is that woman on the pier and why are you exchanging signals FF and EF?" "Sir, that's my wife, Sir, and she wants to eat first!"

Nonskimmer · 04-22-2005, 06:17 PM

cheddar cheese · 04-26-2005, 05:53 AM

Aye that be good

trackend · 04-26-2005, 05:57 AM

Brilliant Fly I got a real buzz outta that one

I have just seen the worst joke in the world on a works forum posting so I must apologise before hand for its contents before pasteing it.

THE BACON TREE

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".

And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
.........

Ees.....
Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees, a Ham Bush"