Quokes/Jotes...Continued!

[cheddar cheese]

Thats a tame one, I can do much worse but I dont think I should.

[102first_hussars]

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner.
The punk had multicolored, spiked hair and multicolored feather earings.
After a while the punk got mad and said to the old man "What are you staring at?"
"Back when I was in the army I got really drunk one night and ****** a parrot.
I was wondering if you were my son."





This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar.
She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina

[Pisis]

"Mum, will you buy me a Bra when I'm 16 now?"
"No, John!"

[Gnomey]

[Pisis]

This is the current Czech Healthcare Minister

[v2]

Sea Kings in the Sun

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
My helicopter's crashing in the sea
I honestly don't mean to pout,
but my future is in doubt,
My co-pilot just fell out.

Goodbye papa it's hard to fly,
When my airframe's cracking in the sky,
For every hour in the air,
it takes them 30 to repair,
We fly these things on a dare.

We've had joy, we've had fun,
We've had Sea Kings in the sun,
But the engines are on fire,
and the Sea Kings must retire,

Goodbye Chrétien my stingy one,
You could have bought the EH-101,
Instead you blew 500 mil,
Just to cancel out the bill,
Now I need an airsick pill.

We've had joy, we've had fun,
We've had Sea Kings in the sun
We'll be lucky if we reach,
a crash landing on the beach.

[v2]

[evangilder]

[Gnomey]

[102first_hussars]

This one is pretty shocking, if youre a Jackass fan you will find this hilarious.

http://media3.davesdaily.com/videocl...leaccident.wmv

[Nonskimmer]

Jesus!

[102first_hussars]

Now this

[Gnomey]

Ouch!

[Pisis]

That Ski-Doo accident had to be fatal, no way.......

[v2]