 | Quokes/Jotes...Continued!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes...Continued! in the Current forums; Brilliant... |
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02-14-2006, 05:53 AM
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#331 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Brisbane
Posts: 507
Country:  | Brilliant 
__________________ I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
that is what I said....  | 
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02-14-2006, 11:18 AM
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#332 | | "Shooter"
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Moorpark, CA
Posts: 12,880
Country:  | A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse.
Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and
walked over to inspect it.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected
little fart escaped her.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed
and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now.
But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, is a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we
help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though
nothing had happened, she smiles back and asked,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just by touching
it, you are going to **** when you hear the price.
__________________  http://www.vg-photo.com Wherever their bones may lie, the courage of heroes is consecrated in the hearts and engraved in the history of the free. Lt Col Honner DSO MC, 39th Commander speaking of the dead from the battle of Kokoda. | |
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02-14-2006, 02:01 PM
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#333 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country:  |
__________________ 
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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02-14-2006, 05:40 PM
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#334 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country:  | ... | |
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02-15-2006, 08:56 AM
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#335 | | "Shooter"
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Moorpark, CA
Posts: 12,880
Country: |
__________________ http://www.vg-photo.com Wherever their bones may lie, the courage of heroes is consecrated in the hearts and engraved in the history of the free. Lt Col Honner DSO MC, 39th Commander speaking of the dead from the battle of Kokoda. | |
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02-15-2006, 09:05 AM
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#336 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country: | Quote: |
Originally Posted by evangilder | | |
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02-15-2006, 09:46 AM
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#337 | | "Shooter"
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Moorpark, CA
Posts: 12,880
Country: | That's frightening.
__________________ http://www.vg-photo.com Wherever their bones may lie, the courage of heroes is consecrated in the hearts and engraved in the history of the free. Lt Col Honner DSO MC, 39th Commander speaking of the dead from the battle of Kokoda. | |
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02-18-2006, 02:51 PM
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#338 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Country: | Hey guys, Elmo is back!!!
I hope nobody gets offended with the joke I'm about to say.
One day a english man, a french man, a mexican, and a Texan were riding a plane. Everything was going fine until the pilot yells out, " we are having difficulties and only one of you all can survive."
They argued for a couple of minutes and they all decided to jump to their deaths.
The english man was the first to jump and as he did he yelled," GOD SAVE THE QUEEEEEENN!!" And he died.
The french man, feeling motivated, jumped out and yelled," VIVA LA FRAAAANCE!!!" And he died.
The Texan, feeling all pumped up and patriotic, grabbed the Mexican and threw him overboard. As he did this he yelled," REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!"
Is it funny or what?! ( I hope I don't offend anybody.)
__________________ 
"And when he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell;
One more marine reporting, sir-
I've served my time in hell." A marine gravemarker on guadalcanal | |
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02-18-2006, 03:25 PM
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#339 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country: | A bit racistic one but funny. BTW, what is Los Alamos? | |
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02-19-2006, 12:37 AM
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#340 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Brisbane
Posts: 507
Country: | eh? 
__________________ I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
that is what I said.... | |
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02-19-2006, 04:43 AM
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#341 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: |
__________________
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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02-19-2006, 06:51 AM
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#342 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country: | gaaybaah.... "baah"? that's why you like it? or because it's gay? | |
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02-19-2006, 08:02 AM
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#343 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country: | Probably a mixture of both 
__________________  "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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02-19-2006, 02:23 PM
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#344 | | Konfused with a 'K'
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Turin, Italy
Posts: 20,412
Country:  | Saw that vid a while back, wasnt as funny as I thought it'd be.
__________________  with my one last gaping breath id apologise for bleeding on your shirt... | |
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02-20-2006, 08:42 AM
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#345 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country:  | | |
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