Quokes/Jotes...Continued!

[Pisis]

yea, it's whole built on two words "****ing" and "bastard"

[loomaluftwaffe]

lol, when i first watched it, i cant see anything... and like i cant really understand british that much, and ive only seen 1 episode of postman pat
but damn that was funny!

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly In this country... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives . . . "

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin'
abouta sex?"

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
'Mississippi'."

[the lancaster kicks ass]

[Gnomey]

[cheddar cheese]

Ok, so theres a real nice hotel in the New forest, and its holding the world chess championships...

That evening after all the matches had been played, the players were all out in the hall talkin about there wins and their losses, and the hotel manager comes out.

"Sorry" he says, "Im going to have to ask you all to leave."

"Why?" Asks one of the players.

The manager replies "I dont like chess nuts boasting in an open foyet".



Ok so its bad, but do I care? No

[loomaluftwaffe]

.....?

[Henk]

What the do you mean .....? mate?

Henk

[loomaluftwaffe]

it kinda sucks, but CC said he dont care

[Henk]

Oh, ok now I see.

Henk

[loomaluftwaffe]

Steward: "Sir, are you done?"
Passenger:"No, I am Jose!"
Steward: "I mean, are you finished?"
Passenger:"No, I am a Filipino!"
Steward: "I mean, are you through?"
Passenger:"What do you think of me? False?"

[the lancaster kicks ass]

i like it CC

[elmilitaro]

some more..


A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"






At a meeting for peace negotiations Bill Clinton and Sadamm Hussein were in Baghdad and when bill sat down in the conference room he noticed Saddamm with three buttons on the arm of his chair. after a few minutes Sadamm pressed the first button and a boxing glove sprung up and hit Bill square in the jaw. In the spirit of peace Bill decided to ignore this and continued talking until sadamm pressed the second button and a wooden bat swung out and hill Bill in the chin. Sadamm started laughing. But again Bill ignored this and continued . A minute later Bill saw Sadamm press the third button and he jumped in the air. But a big boot sprung out and hit him in the balls. Bill had decided he had enough of this and when back home.

Three weeks later the peace negotiations were re-scheduled in Washington and as Sadamm sat down in Bills conference room he noticed Bill had three buttons on the arm of his chair. A little while after they started talking Bill pressed the first button but nothing happened, Bill started giggling. They continued to talk then Bill pressed the second button, Sadamm moved but again nothing happened. Sadamm was getting a little jumpy and Bill was laughing even harder. A few minutes later Bill pressed the third button and stared pissing himself but like the others nothing happened. Sadamm had enough of this, stood up and said "That's it! I'm going back to Baghdad!" , to which Bill replied "What Baghdad?"




A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

Then he asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?
"Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied.

He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?
"We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother replies.

The mother paused and said to her son...
"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious"


So?

[loomaluftwaffe]

[Gnomey]

[the lancaster kicks ass]

very good