Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

[102first_hussars]

[loomaluftwaffe]

good thing mine's spike

[Wurger]

Yeap.

[v2]

Smoking kills
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ58kIVifyc

[loomaluftwaffe]

hahahahaha

[Wurger]

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha .
I like hamsters.There two pics with my daughter's hamster.The first one - the hamster normally, the second - a turbo one.

[Wurger]

In a Scottish hotel you can read a warning notice for the hotel guests :
OUR GUESTS ARE KINDLY REQUESTED NOT TO TOUCH ELECTRIC DEVICES WITH WET HANDS BEFORE PAYING THE BILL.

[Gnomey]

I got these in an email last week:

The messages on these signs were a bit confused. They are all real.


Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE
IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor’s office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR
ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM
MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN
TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.

Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN **** TO THE RIGHT.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

One of the Mathare buildings:
MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.


In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN
GRAVES.

Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL **** IN TUB.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS
FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET
THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE
CHAMBERMAID

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS
OF ASCENSION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

From the "Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC
PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.




In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO
MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ***?

In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

[Pisis]

I redone that one Hussar has posted...

[102first_hussars]

OMG!!! man that is hilarious, f*ck! thats good real good I commend you for that

[102first_hussars]

:::::::::::Police are warning all men::::::::::

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local
pubs to be on alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from
any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It
comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is
used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade
their male victims to go home and have sex with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer
and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men
are rendered helpless against this approach.

After several Beers, men will often succumb to the desires to
perform sexual acts on horrific looking women whom they would
never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer, men often
awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them
the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "some
thing bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are
swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known
as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be
shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term
form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is
administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall
victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there
are male support groups where you can discuss the details of
your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the
support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the
phone book.

[v2]

[Pisis]

Hehe

[Henk]

Now that is f***ed up drunk.

[v2]