 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Current forums; LOL!!... |
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07-23-2006, 07:22 PM
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#301 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country:  | LOL!!
__________________  "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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07-23-2006, 08:38 PM
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#302 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,856
Country:  | omg lol!
__________________  "The German Luftwaffe always fought without any reserves. This is also the reason why we have pilots with extremely high numbers of victories."
- General der Jagdflieger Adolf Galland"  | |
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07-24-2006, 03:37 AM
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#303 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country:  | Three vampires walk into a bar.
The bartender takes the orders; 'a pint of blood please' says the first, 'a pint of blood please' says the second but then the thrd vampire asks for a glass of hot water.
The bartender and the two other vampires ask; why don't you take a pint of blood?
The third vampire answers while taking out a used tampon; 'I'm making tea'
__________________ 
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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07-24-2006, 10:55 AM
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#304 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: |
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07-24-2006, 11:02 AM
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#305 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: | A tourist in a small hotel gave a loud shout
- Hallo! Mister landlord ! I've found a cockcroach in my bed !
- And who would like to find? Marlyn Monroe ?- asked the arrogant londlord.
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07-24-2006, 01:14 PM
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#306 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 473
Country: | Quote: |
Originally Posted by v2 Three vampires walk into a bar.
The bartender takes the orders; 'a pint of blood please' says the first, 'a pint of blood please' says the second but then the thrd vampire asks for a glass of hot water.
The bartender and the two other vampires ask; why don't you take a pint of blood?
The third vampire answers while taking out a used tampon; 'I'm making tea' |  That is gross, but hell funny!
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07-25-2006, 06:28 AM
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#307 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country: | The dangerous question...
"Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include: a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way. b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things. c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality. d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner. e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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07-25-2006, 07:19 AM
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#308 | | "Shooter"
Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Moorpark, CA
Posts: 12,880
Country:  | An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato
garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son,
Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Vincenzo,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my
tomato garden this year. I am getting too old to be digging up a garden
plot. If you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would dig
the garden for me.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Please do not dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived and dug up the
entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and
left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the
circumstances.
Love, Vinnie
__________________  http://www.vg-photo.com Wherever their bones may lie, the courage of heroes is consecrated in the hearts and engraved in the history of the free. Lt Col Honner DSO MC, 39th Commander speaking of the dead from the battle of Kokoda. | |
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07-25-2006, 07:40 AM
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#309 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country:  | Clever prisoner. | |
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07-25-2006, 08:12 AM
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#310 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country: | Good one, evan...
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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07-25-2006, 09:19 AM
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#311 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,856
Country: | very clever
__________________ "The German Luftwaffe always fought without any reserves. This is also the reason why we have pilots with extremely high numbers of victories."
- General der Jagdflieger Adolf Galland" | |
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07-25-2006, 02:24 PM
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#312 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: | didn't see that coming at all very good...
__________________ 
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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07-25-2006, 03:53 PM
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#313 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country: | Yeah me neither, good one!
__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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07-25-2006, 05:15 PM
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#314 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country: | Two German guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding..."I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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07-26-2006, 06:53 AM
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#315 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country: | In cold war CIA trained super spy and send him to Moscow.
At first day of spy work all russians cheered
-hello yankee spy!
and so on for few days, one day he went with russians on vodka.
-drink yankee spy
-why do you say i'm yankee spy do i drink diffrent way?
-no you drink like real russian
-do i speak diffrent
-no you accent is perfect
-do i have diffrent clothes
-they are perfect but you see yankee spy we ..... don't have any black ppl in russia!
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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