Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! - Page 3 - Aircraft of World War II

Glider · 04-13-2006, 01:23 PM

Found this quote
Controller (zu einer C-130 Hercules der USAF): US 1234, there is helicopter traffic 5 miles ahead, reduce to 130kt. Captain: OK, we´re bringing this big bird back to 130kt for you ...
Controller: (bald darauf): US 1234, helicopter traffic now 2 miles ahead, reduce to 110kt.
Captain: OK, we´re bringing this big bird back to 110kt for you ...
Controller: (etwas nervös): US 1234, helicopter traffic is now 0.5 miles ahead of you, reduce to 90 kt.
Captain: Sir, do you know what the stall speed of a Hercules is ?
Controller: No Sir, but you may ask your Co-Pilot, perhaps he knows ...

Gnomey · 04-13-2006, 01:39 PM

v2 · 04-13-2006, 03:38 PM

High LOL !

v2 · 04-14-2006, 08:50 AM

It's happened last night...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

Gnomey · 04-14-2006, 10:22 AM

lol!

Glider · 04-14-2006, 12:19 PM

Brilliant, couldn't make it up

marconi · 04-14-2006, 02:50 PM

http://cellar.org/iotd.php?threadid=10491

Gnomey · 04-14-2006, 03:11 PM

lol

v2 · 04-14-2006, 04:06 PM

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060424/comix

Henk · 04-14-2006, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by v2

It's happened last night...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

That is brilliant mate.

Henk

Pisis · 04-15-2006, 04:23 AM

LOL that foam thingo is "cool"

pbfoot · 04-17-2006, 05:11 PM

this is taken from a kids 5th grade essay
When I grow up I want to be a pilot because its a fun job and easy to do thats why there are so many pilots flying around today. pilots don't need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments. I guess they should learn to read a road map too.
Pilots should be brave so they won't get scared if its foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor falls off . Pilots should nave good eyes to see through clouds and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them then we are.
The salary pilots make is another thing I like . They make more money then they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous. except pilots don't because they know how easy it is .
I hope don't get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick I couldn't become pilot and would have to go to work.
This was pilots response
Jeez kid you sure are smart for grade 5 . I had hardly begun to shave when I was in 5th grade and you can already write.
Most of the things you say need some clearing up
-pilots don't need to read numbers to check their instruments - we have flight engineers to do that
- they don't need to read road maps thats why we have navigators
- we don't worry about the weather the met section tells us when not to fly and the ATC's help us if we forget
-wings and motors hardly ever fall off ( the technicians use lots of glue)
So you see air time is spent learning important things like remembering which end of the opener is for cans and which end is for bottles and where we parked our cars after TGIF
Your right about the money part but wrong about the easy stuff . Its awfully hard work remembering which button to push to avoid getting the electric shock and which switch to get the banana

Henk · 04-17-2006, 05:19 PM

lol that is good.

Henk

loomaluftwaffe · 04-17-2006, 10:20 PM

Gnomey · 04-18-2006, 05:14 AM

04-13-2006, 01:39 PM	#32
Gnomey "World Traveller" Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK Posts: 16,475	__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts" Sir Winston Churchill "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today" Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum My Photo Collections on Flickr

04-13-2006, 03:38 PM	#33
v2 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow Posts: 4,434	High LOL ! __________________ "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

04-14-2006, 08:50 AM	#34
v2 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow Posts: 4,434	It's happened last night... The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise! Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ***," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted." __________________ "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -*

04-14-2006, 10:22 AM	#35
Gnomey "World Traveller" Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK Posts: 16,475	lol! __________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts" Sir Winston Churchill "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today" Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum My Photo Collections on Flickr

04-14-2006, 03:11 PM	#38
Gnomey "World Traveller" Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK Posts: 16,475	lol __________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts" Sir Winston Churchill "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today" Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum My Photo Collections on Flickr

04-13-2006, 01:23 PM	#31
Glider Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: London Posts: 3,908	Found this quote Controller (zu einer C-130 Hercules der USAF): US 1234, there is helicopter traffic 5 miles ahead, reduce to 130kt. Captain: OK, we´re bringing this big bird back to 130kt for you ... Controller: (bald darauf): US 1234, helicopter traffic now 2 miles ahead, reduce to 110kt. Captain: OK, we´re bringing this big bird back to 110kt for you ... Controller: (etwas nervös): US 1234, helicopter traffic is now 0.5 miles ahead of you, reduce to 90 kt. Captain: Sir, do you know what the stall speed of a Hercules is ? Controller: No Sir, but you may ask your Co-Pilot, perhaps he knows ...

04-14-2006, 12:19 PM	#36
Glider Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: London Posts: 3,908	Brilliant, couldn't make it up

04-14-2006, 02:50 PM	#37
marconi Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kiev, Ukraine Posts: 252	http://cellar.org/iotd.php?threadid=10491

04-14-2006, 04:06 PM	#39
v2 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow Posts: 4,434	http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060424/comix __________________ "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

04-15-2006, 04:23 AM	#41
Pisis Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium Posts: 5,859	LOL that foam thingo is "cool" __________________ "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too." - Airplane! Memory of Nation Why Did Hitler Want Czechoslovakia WW2 Was A War That Had To Be Fought! What Really Happened in Israel? Children of Hamas

04-17-2006, 05:11 PM	#42
pbfoot Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: niagara falls Posts: 5,954	this is taken from a kids 5th grade essay When I grow up I want to be a pilot because its a fun job and easy to do thats why there are so many pilots flying around today. pilots don't need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments. I guess they should learn to read a road map too. Pilots should be brave so they won't get scared if its foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor falls off . Pilots should nave good eyes to see through clouds and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them then we are. The salary pilots make is another thing I like . They make more money then they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous. except pilots don't because they know how easy it is . I hope don't get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick I couldn't become pilot and would have to go to work. This was pilots response Jeez kid you sure are smart for grade 5 . I had hardly begun to shave when I was in 5th grade and you can already write. Most of the things you say need some clearing up -pilots don't need to read numbers to check their instruments - we have flight engineers to do that - they don't need to read road maps thats why we have navigators - we don't worry about the weather the met section tells us when not to fly and the ATC's help us if we forget -wings and motors hardly ever fall off ( the technicians use lots of glue) So you see air time is spent learning important things like remembering which end of the opener is for cans and which end is for bottles and where we parked our cars after TGIF Your right about the money part but wrong about the easy stuff . Its awfully hard work remembering which button to push to avoid getting the electric shock and which switch to get the banana

04-17-2006, 05:19 PM	#43
Henk Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: George - South Africa Posts: 2,786	lol that is good. Henk __________________ The ultimate revolution in aircraft designs during WW2

04-17-2006, 10:20 PM	#44
loomaluftwaffe Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,848	__________________ "The German Luftwaffe always fought without any reserves. This is also the reason why we have pilots with extremely high numbers of victories." - General der Jagdflieger Adolf Galland"

04-18-2006, 05:14 AM	#45
Gnomey "World Traveller" Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK Posts: 16,475	__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts" Sir Winston Churchill "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today" Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum My Photo Collections on Flickr

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