 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Current forums; Out of the mouth of babes...... |
|
11-07-2006, 09:47 PM
|
#691 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kiwi Land
Posts: 849
Country:  | Out of the mouth of babes...
__________________
4 out of 5 voices in my head say I am normal. Majority rules.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. | 
| | |
11-08-2006, 06:04 AM
|
#692 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country:  |
__________________  "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
| |
| | |
11-08-2006, 10:35 AM
|
#693 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country:  |
__________________ 
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
| | |
11-08-2006, 05:33 PM
|
#694 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | >>>>>> A hip young man goes out and buys the best car on the market, a
>>>>>> brand new Ferrari GTO. It is also the most expensive car in the
>>>>>> world, and it costs him $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and
>>>>>> stops at a red light. An old man on a moped, looking about 100 years
>>>>>> old, pulls up next to him.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What
>>>>>> kind of car ya' got there sonny?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million
>>>>>> dollars!"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so
>>>>>> much?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the
>>>>>> young dude proudly.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in
>>>>>> the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his moped, the
>>>>>> old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right... but I'll stick
>>>>>> with my moped!"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old
>>>>>> man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds,
>>>>>> the speedometer reads 160mph.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be, and
>>>>>> suddenly,
>>>>>> WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH! Something whips by him, going much faster!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young
>>>>>> man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up
>>>>>> to 250mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on
>>>>>> the moped! Amazed that a moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it
>>>>>> more gas and passes the moped at 275mph.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the
>>>>>> old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of this old
>>>>>> guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to
>>>>>> 320mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him
>>>>>> again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Ferrari,
>>>>>> demolishing the rear end.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The young man stops and jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man
>>>>>> is still alive.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My God! Is there
>>>>>> anything I can do for you?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The old man whispers with his dying breath, "Unhook... my...
>>>>>> suspenders... from... your... side-view mirror.
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
| | |
11-09-2006, 12:13 PM
|
#695 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: |  didn't see that coming
__________________ 
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
| | |
11-09-2006, 02:22 PM
|
#696 | | Konfused with a 'K'
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Turin, Italy
Posts: 20,412
Country:  | Afraid I did  Most of the time I was just outraged at the performance figures of said Ferrari though, which someone as sad as me finds funnier than the actual joke
__________________  with my one last gaping breath id apologise for bleeding on your shirt... | |
| | |
11-09-2006, 06:28 PM
|
#697 | | He who does not skim
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 8,957
Country:  | | |
| | |
11-09-2006, 06:44 PM
|
#698 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Canada
Posts: 2,070
Country: | | |
| | |
11-09-2006, 07:32 PM
|
#699 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country: |
__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
| |
| | |
11-09-2006, 11:34 PM
|
#700 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheddar cheese  Afraid I did Most of the time I was just outraged at the performance figures of said Ferrari though, which someone as sad as me finds funnier than the actual joke | Yeah I almost changed them. But then again, they are what they are. Too much effort. Besides, I could never fool you CC. You are much to clever. 
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
| | |
11-10-2006, 04:27 AM
|
#701 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country:  | Pierre, the French fighter pilot
Pierre, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the river Seine. It is a beautiful day and love is in the air, so Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me".
So our hero grabs a bottle of red wine and splashes it on Marie's lips.
"What are you doing, Pierre?" shrieks Marie.
"Well, my name is Pierre, the French fighter pilot, and when I have red meat I like to have red wine!"
His answer is good enough for Marie and things begin to heat up. So she says: "Pierre, kiss me lower."
Our hero rips off her blouse, grabs a bottle of white wine and starts pouring it all over her bosom.
"Pierre, what are you doing" she says.
"My name is Pierre, the French fighter pilot, and when I have white meat I like to have white wine!"
They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans over once more and softly whispers into Pierre's ear..."Pierre, kiss me lower."
Pierre tears off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and sprinkles it all over her private region. He then grabs a match and lights it on fire.
Patting the flames out furiously, Marie screams, "PIERRE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!?"
"My name is Pierre, the French fighter pilot, and when I go down, I go down in flames!"
__________________ 
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
| | |
11-10-2006, 08:37 AM
|
#702 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country: |
__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
| |
| | |
11-10-2006, 12:26 PM
|
#703 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country:  | LOL, that's so stupid! | |
| | |
11-10-2006, 01:21 PM
|
#704 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country: | | |
| | |
11-10-2006, 02:39 PM
|
#705 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kiwi Land
Posts: 849
Country: | Losing a Friend.
__________________
4 out of 5 voices in my head say I am normal. Majority rules.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. | |
| | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:57 PM. | | |
