 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Current forums; ... |
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04-29-2006, 03:49 AM
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#76 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country:  | | 
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04-29-2006, 06:01 AM
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#77 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
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__________________  "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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04-29-2006, 08:14 AM
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#78 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kiev, Ukraine
Posts: 271
| lol, pisis.
A salesman is selling apples at the Kiev market:
- Apples from Chernobyl, apples from Chernobyl!
- Are you crazy, why are you saying they are from Chernobyl, no one will buy them!
- Of course they will! Some for their chief, some for mother-in-law! | |
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04-29-2006, 09:04 AM
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#79 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,887
Country: | You're kidding but a friend of mine was travelling to Moscow via Ukraine's Chernobyl area and he told me in that area native people were ocming onto train and offering GIANT crops, like strawberries of size of a human's head and others...  | |
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04-29-2006, 09:37 AM
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#80 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kiev, Ukraine
Posts: 271
| He was joking too, Pisis.Such mutations are quite improbable. Besides, no one will deal with radioactive stuff like that.I've read an article which stated that the Pripyat is totally ransacked in the clean areas but is untouched where the radiation level is not safe. | |
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04-30-2006, 09:51 PM
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#81 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Brisbane
Posts: 507
Country:  | There was an article in this months national geographica about that, they said that researchers were investigating chernobyl because it was just like a big dirty bomb...
They are also going to make a new cover to replace the "sarcoughaus" that covered reactor 4. it will be the size of a stadium, an will be constucted 800m or so away from the site, then moved into place via rails to cover the structure entirely...
Its horrible that such a clean source of power can go horribly wrong.
(Interesting fact: If the US used non-powered methods of drying their clothes, then they wouldnt need their Nuclear Powerstations! 14% of the countries enregy is produced by nuclear powerstations, and 14% goes into clothesdrying... but thats discounting the fact that it gets mighty cold in some places.)
__________________ I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
that is what I said....  | |
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05-01-2006, 04:14 AM
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#82 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: | it's late after work and a woman (well it would be wouldn't it  ) comes across a toll gate but looses control and hits one of the toll booths, she gets out a tries to stick the parts of the booth together with a white sticky substance, when a man who sees this comes over and asks what it is she's using...
she replies "Toll-gate booth paste" 
__________________ 
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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05-01-2006, 02:15 PM
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#83 | | Konfused with a 'K'
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Turin, Italy
Posts: 20,412
Country:  | Losing control and hitting a toll booth?! Assuming this is on a motorway, you'd have to be a pretty lame driver to lose control whilst going in a pretty much straight line
__________________  with my one last gaping breath id apologise for bleeding on your shirt... | |
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05-01-2006, 04:15 PM
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#84 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas
Posts: 405
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__________________ 
"And when he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell;
One more marine reporting, sir-
I've served my time in hell." A marine gravemarker on guadalcanal | |
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05-02-2006, 11:47 AM
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#85 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: | Quote: |
Originally Posted by cheddar cheese Losing control and hitting a toll booth?! Assuming this is on a motorway, you'd have to be a pretty lame driver to lose control whilst going in a pretty much straight line | hence i said it was a woman driving
__________________
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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05-05-2006, 03:41 PM
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#86 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kiev, Ukraine
Posts: 271
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Checkpoint Charlie | |
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05-05-2006, 05:45 PM
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#87 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: London
Posts: 2,878
| Beware the Woman
The CIA had a vacancy for an assassin and looked for suitable applicants. After many weeks and a number of tests there were three candidates left, two men and a woman.
The man in charge told them, theres nothing in it, any one of you could do the job but we can only chose one of you. We are a professional outfit and only take the best so we have come up with one final test.
They take the first man, give him a gun and tell him. this is the final test we only take the best so we want you to go into this room. Your wife is there on a chair and you must shoot her.
'No, no, you cannot ask me to do this.' Sorry' said the man in charge 'we are professional organisation and you must trust us. You have failed the test and can go'.
They take the second man, give him the gun and tell him. 'This is the final test, we are a professional team so we want you to go into this room where your wife is there on a chair, you must shoot her.
He took the gun and went slowly into the room. There was silence and he came out again. 'I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it.'
'Never mind, we are professional organisation and you must trust us. You have failed the test and have to go'
They take the woman to the room, give her the gun and tell her. 'This is the final test we are a professional organisation who only take the best, so we want you to go into this room. Your husband is there on a chair and you must shoot him.
She takes the gun and walks slowly into the room. They hear a shot, quickly followed by five more. Then there are thuds, the sounds of fighting and bodies crashing against the door, cries and screams until finally the woman looking disheveled with cuts and bruises comes out of the room.
'Call yourselves Professionals' she shouted. 'The damned gun was filled with blanks, I had to beat him to death with the chair leg'. | |
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05-05-2006, 06:22 PM
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#88 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country: | Heard it before but it is still a good one
__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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05-06-2006, 03:44 AM
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#89 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: | it was posted only a few pages back
__________________
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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05-07-2006, 09:59 AM
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#90 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country:  | A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very
attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his
watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running
late?'
'No', he replies, 'I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just
testing it.' The intrigued woman says, 'A state-of-the-art watch? What's so
special about it?' 'It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,' he
explains.
'What's it telling you now?'
'Well, it says you're not wearing any panties...'
The woman giggles and replies, 'Well it must be broken then because I am
wearing panties!' The man explains, 'Damn thing must be an hour fast.'
__________________ 
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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