 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Current forums; ... |
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12-18-2006, 07:01 PM
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#901 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country:  |
__________________  "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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12-19-2006, 12:50 AM
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#902 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 366
Country:  | Here's a quote for you.
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
~~Homer Simpson~~
__________________
Corporal: "Hmm. it's quiet. too quiet."
BANG!
Same Corporal: "Now it's suddenly too loud. I preferred it when it was quiet." | |
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12-19-2006, 01:04 AM
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#903 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kiwi Land
Posts: 849
Country:  | Try this one Chief.
"All sheep will STOP for Green."
~~Lanc~~
__________________
4 out of 5 voices in my head say I am normal. Majority rules.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. | |
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12-19-2006, 02:53 PM
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#904 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 547
Country: |  i love the Bacon Tree
__________________ www.airvictorymuseum.org
"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us... they can't get away this time."
V-DUB!!!!!!!
My 71 Beetle is now.....in two pieces....  | |
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12-19-2006, 03:33 PM
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#905 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | Pope Goes on Vacation
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in thePope-mobile when he noticed a huge commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell With Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest.
The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.
Then, using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it's carcass onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off smiling, one of the loggers asked his buddies: Who the hell was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the first logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, how's the bait holding up -
do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"
__________________ 
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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12-19-2006, 04:58 PM
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#906 | | World Traveler
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Royal Deeside/St Andrews, Scotland, UK
Posts: 11,751
Country: | Haha!
__________________ "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
Moderator WW2 Talk: A WW2 Discussion Forum
My Photo Collections on Flickr
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12-19-2006, 05:38 PM
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#907 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | > >>> Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
> >>> "Yes. What can I do for you?"
> >>> "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil
> >>> Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood!
> >>>
> >>> Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs,
> >>> but he's hidin' it there."
> >>> "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
> >>>
> >>> The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on
> >>> Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
> >>> Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but
> >>> find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
> >>>
> >>> Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
> >>> "Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....did the Sheriff come?"
> >>> "Yeah!"
> >>>
> >>> "Did they chop your firewood?"
> >>> "Yep!"
> >>> "Happy Birthday, buddy!"
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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12-19-2006, 06:32 PM
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#908 | | He who does not skim
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 8,957
Country:  | Cute.
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Yeah, so it's lame. Sue me.
Anyone not get it?  | |
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12-19-2006, 08:03 PM
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#909 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | As an illectracal injuneer, I REALLY get it. I'm certain I heard Machiavellian boos from the gallery. 
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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12-20-2006, 12:41 PM
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#910 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country:  |
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12-20-2006, 04:38 PM
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#911 | | Master of Ewes
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 19,959
Country: | it's a favourite of IT teckies all over the world........
__________________ 
"Reminds me of the time I sank the Tirpitz" comments a Spitfire pilot, "One pass of course, old boy." | |
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12-20-2006, 06:16 PM
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#912 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Jacksonville, NC
Posts: 3,261
Country: | Quote:
Originally Posted by Nonskimmer  Cute.
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't.
Yeah, so it's lame. Sue me.
Anyone not get it? | First time i've ever seen that one - gave me a laugh.
__________________
If the Army and the Navy ever look on heaven's scenes, they will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines | |
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12-21-2006, 03:47 PM
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#913 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | .
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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12-21-2006, 05:39 PM
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#914 | | He who does not skim
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia
Posts: 8,957
Country: | Another oldy, but a goody. | |
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12-21-2006, 06:30 PM
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#915 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: | He,he,he.....
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