 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Current forums; That's a crazy ****...... |
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05-10-2006, 07:44 AM
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#106 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,845
Country:  | That's a crazy ****... | 
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05-10-2006, 04:26 PM
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#107 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,116
Country:  | Sniper...
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"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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05-10-2006, 04:49 PM
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#108 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Country:  | Nice.
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"And when he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell;
One more marine reporting, sir-
I've served my time in hell." A marine gravemarker on guadalcanal | |
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05-11-2006, 02:14 AM
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#109 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Edmonton,Alberta
Posts: 2,260
Country:  | This isnt really a joke as is just plain funny,
Me and my buudies were watching the hockey game one night, I decided to ask my friend marc, "So I hear your birthday is coming up pretty soon, what do you want?"
he says "I want something that will go from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds flat"
Anyway I got him something better, Its something that will go from 0-230 in an instant-------------I got him a scale
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Hello me...meet the real me.
And my misfits way of life.
A dark black past is my
Most valued possession.
Hindsight is always 20-20,
But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
Speak of mutually assured destruction?
Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!! | |
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05-11-2006, 07:00 AM
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#110 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Country: | Here's one....
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they
learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is
for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at
me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then
says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a
valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in
shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl
could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think
that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.
And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love
everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell
everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound
pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I
know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines
could blow the crap out of him."
So?
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"And when he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell;
One more marine reporting, sir-
I've served my time in hell." A marine gravemarker on guadalcanal | |
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05-11-2006, 07:07 AM
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#111 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Country: | Wait, another one....
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer
to tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the
truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday
we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the
road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies,
"Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we
take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only
8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane
was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he
drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of
bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on
his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any
moral to his story. Billy replies, "Don't mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
George W. Bush, Clinton, and Gore were all in heaven, and the angel said, "You must cross this river and we will judge how much you have sinned based on how far you sink."
Dubya goes first and gets up to his neck, but makes it across. He looks back and sees Al Gore walking on the water. He appeals to the angel saying, "He's sinned as much as I have, what gives?"
The angel says, "He's standing on Clinton's shoulders"
So?
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"And when he gets to heaven,
To Saint Peter he will tell;
One more marine reporting, sir-
I've served my time in hell." A marine gravemarker on guadalcanal | |
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05-12-2006, 03:48 PM
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#112 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,116
Country: | Last parade...
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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05-13-2006, 10:00 AM
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#113 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 5,845
Country: | He's probably on Siberia now... | |
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05-17-2006, 01:55 AM
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#114 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,116
Country: | American Hero....
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"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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05-17-2006, 02:32 AM
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#115 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 5,934
Country: | Concerning to the first V2's pic I agree with Pisis.
Concerning to the second 
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05-17-2006, 02:52 AM
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#116 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 5,934
Country: | Hi !!!
It's my first time here,be indulgent, please.
Extracts of diary of a young lady on a cruise across the ocean:
Monday: They introduced me to the captain of the ship.
Tuesday: The captain has been very kind to me.
Wednasday: The captain invited me for a walk on the deck.
Thursday: The captain invited me for supper in his cabin.
Friday: The captain threatened he would sink the boat, unless I gave myself to him.
Saturday: Phew! I saved six hundred passengers.
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Last edited by Wurger : 05-17-2006 at 02:54 AM.
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05-17-2006, 04:56 AM
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#117 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,116
Country: |
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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05-19-2006, 06:15 AM
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#118 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 5,934
Country: | The second time 
A higlander was sitting on the edge of a precipice on top of a mountain and kept saying - twenty four, twenty four, twenty four......
A tourist approached him and asked - What are you counting, flock-master? -
Suddenly he tumbled over a stone on a narrow path and fell down into abyss.
Twenty five, twenty five, twenty five ..... continued the highlander.
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05-19-2006, 03:09 PM
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#119 | | Senior Member
Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kiev, Ukraine
Posts: 270
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The Russian sentense means:
My cat has given birth to four kittens, two yellow colors, one white and one African-American | |
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05-19-2006, 04:04 PM
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#120 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 5,934
Country: |
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