 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Current forums; ...... |
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04-26-2007, 06:24 AM
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#1351 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country:  | ...
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"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | 
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04-27-2007, 09:28 AM
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#1352 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: |
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04-27-2007, 11:03 AM
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#1353 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,077
Country:  |  So true.
__________________ 
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | 
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04-27-2007, 12:15 PM
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#1354 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,077
Country: | An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!" He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path but when he looked over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. Suddenly, he tripped & fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his r ight paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You denied my existence for all these years, teaching others I don't exist and even crediting creation to a cosmic accident." Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer now?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-27-2007, 05:50 PM
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#1355 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: |
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04-27-2007, 06:07 PM
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#1356 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 315
Country:  | Nixon, Nikita and Tito are in a plane over the jungle. Suddenly one of the engines blows up and they all have to bail. After hitting the group, a local tribe of blood thirsty cannibals spot the men and start chasing them along a jungle path.
"What do we do now!?" Screams Nikita.
Nixon pulls out his wallet and trows a bunch of dollars to the cannibals. The cannibals stop for a while and after deciding that green paper is not interesting they continue the chase even more furiously.
"You do something!" Nixon says to Nikita. Nikita throws a bunch of rubles from his pocket to the cannibals, but they don't even slow down.
"Tito, you do something!", they both scream. Tito stops and asks for a pencil and a piece of paper. Nixon gives his notebook to Tito and Nikita hands his pencil over. Tito writes something on a piece of paper, folds it and leaves it in the middle the path. When the cannibals reach the spot their leader picks the paper up and reads it. The whole tribe turns to the direction where they came from and start running like hell.
A moment later, all exhausted and sweaty, the three leaders stop running. "What did you write on that paper", Nixon asks from Tito. Tito replies: "This path leads to communism". | |
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04-27-2007, 09:05 PM
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#1357 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,077
Country: | Quote:
Originally Posted by Wurger  | Isn't it interesting how humor is a universal language. Just goes to show that common ground can always be found. Cheers Wurger.
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-28-2007, 08:48 AM
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#1358 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Evesham, UK
Posts: 180
Country:  | Quote:
Originally Posted by Njaco This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. You
might also want to reconsider if you really want to retire with your
husband.
DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
After Joe and Gloria Hall retired, Gloria insisted Joe
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. | The scary thing is, i've done most of those things 
__________________  "We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
-Sir Winston Churchill | |
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04-28-2007, 11:25 AM
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#1359 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,077
Country: | That's neurotic you know, Ajax.
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-28-2007, 12:39 PM
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#1360 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country: | Coffin for us...
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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04-28-2007, 05:11 PM
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#1361 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: | Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt308 Isn't it interesting how humor is a universal language. Just goes to show that common ground can always be found. Cheers Wurger. | You are right Matt. 
V2, for us it should be a bit longer. 
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Last edited by Wurger : 04-28-2007 at 05:13 PM.
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04-28-2007, 05:15 PM
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#1362 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: |
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04-28-2007, 05:23 PM
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#1363 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Plymouth
Posts: 638
Country: | Two explorers are walking through the Savanna when they stumble across a ravenous looking Cheetah. Very calmly, one of them opens his backpack and proceeds to put on a brand new park of Nike Air Maxs.
'Wait a second' said his friend, do you really think they'll enable you to outrun that Cheetah?'
'No' he replies 'I just need to outrun you' | |
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04-28-2007, 08:51 PM
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#1364 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,077
Country: |
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-30-2007, 12:10 PM
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#1365 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: |
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