 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3 in the Current forums; I have that tequila poster.... |
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10-12-2007, 08:27 AM
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#211 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Nora Springs, Iowa
Posts: 260
Country:  | I have that tequila poster.
__________________ "I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Courage is a quality God has seen fit to dispense with utmost care. The men of Bataan were His chosen favorites."
- Major General Edward P. King, Jr., USA
Commanding General, Luzon Forces, 1942
"No Mother, no Father, no Uncle Sam."
- Cabantuan P.O.W.'s flag motto.  | 
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10-12-2007, 04:11 PM
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#212 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 10,460
Country: | Who was the 3rd man in history to walk on water?
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The 1st one was Christ.
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The 2nd was the apostle Peter.
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Then there was this Mexican guy named Jose...
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__________________ 
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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10-12-2007, 05:20 PM
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#213 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 6,753
Country: |
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"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
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10-12-2007, 06:41 PM
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#214 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Jersey Shore
Posts: 2,112
Country: |
__________________  “Let's get Enterprise and Hornet turned into the wind." | |
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10-13-2007, 07:54 AM
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#215 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 6,692
Country:  |
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10-14-2007, 04:28 AM
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#216 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,257
Country: | A man gets a call from his very (very..) blonde girlfriend.
"I've got a problem, sweetheart".
"What's the matter, honey?" asks the man.
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?".
"It's of a big rooster".
"All right," says the man. "my dear. tonight, after work, as soon as I come home I will help you with the puzzle..."
At evening, he arrives home, greets his girlfriend and ask her about the puzzle. She leads him into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.
He stares at the box, stares at the pieces on the table and turns to her and says, "For heaven's sake, Sweety, put the cornflakes back in the box...."
__________________ 
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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10-14-2007, 06:54 AM
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#217 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 6,692
Country: |
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10-14-2007, 12:43 PM
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#218 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 10,460
Country: |
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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10-16-2007, 06:48 AM
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#219 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: my azz is in Mississippi, but, I am a true Texan.
Posts: 908
Country: | A lady walks into a high class jewelry shop. She browses around,
spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has
noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up
right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a
salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying
complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good
day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have
been there at the time of her little 'accident',
She asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to
*hit yourself when I tell you the price."
__________________  "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." - Voltaire
A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.
- Albert Einstein Life is tough..its even harder when you're stupid. -John Wayne | |
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10-16-2007, 07:08 AM
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#220 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 6,753
Country: |
__________________
"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
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10-17-2007, 07:50 AM
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#221 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Praga Mater Urbium
Posts: 5,871
Country:  | I had to log in just to post this one   | |
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10-17-2007, 07:52 AM
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#222 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 6,753
Country: | Brownie should have got his money back.
__________________
"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
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10-17-2007, 03:41 PM
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#223 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 6,692
Country: | Ahoj Pisis,
What a great entrance.
I always say the bodily effort isn't worthwhile.
What's new about you friend?
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10-17-2007, 10:03 PM
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#224 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 804
Country: | Just another example of why they say "no sex for one hour after meals" Hmmm, either that or she was just Butt Ugly and he got a good look. 
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10-22-2007, 02:29 PM
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#225 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,257
Country: | Speed Trap
A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five elderly nuns were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.
The driver pleaded with him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Sister," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous."
"I beg to differ, Officer, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!" the old nun said.
The trooper, chuckling, explained to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the elderly nun grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Sister, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These other sisters with you seem awfully shaken."
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute," the old nun said. "We just got off Route 119."
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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