 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3 in the Current forums; Nice one v2, I've seen a similar picture on an atm
...
Why are hurricanes named after women?
- Because when ... |
|
07-06-2007, 06:41 AM
|
#31 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 315
Country:  | Nice one v2, I've seen a similar picture on an atm 
...
Why are hurricanes named after women?
- Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go they take your house and car with them
__________________  | 
|  | |
07-06-2007, 10:41 AM
|
#32 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 4,786
Country:  |
__________________  | 
| | |
07-06-2007, 11:58 AM
|
#33 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 315
Country: | Knight Rider
__________________ | |
| | |
07-06-2007, 01:43 PM
|
#34 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 2,778
Country: | A male Bear and a male Rabbit was walking about in the woods one day when suddenly coming across an old bottle. When touching the bottle a genie appeared, as they normally do, and told the pair that they had three wishes each.
The Bear started: I wish that all bears in this forrest, except for me, were ladies.
The Genie quickly snapped his finger and all bears in the forrest were female.
Now it was the Rabbits turn: I'd like to get this bigass castle with a huge field of carrots in front of it.
The Genie snapped his fingers and the Rabbit got his castle and carrots.
The Bear: I would just love it if all the bears, except for me, in this country would be females.
The Genie once more snapped his fingers and the Bears wish was fullfilled.
The Rabbit was a bit more held back in his next wish than the Bear and only wished for a fine wife and a couple of mistresses on the side..
The Genie said: Your wish is fulfilled and snapped his fingers.
Now it was time for the Bear to make his final wish: I want ALL the bears in the WORLD, except for me of course, to be females!
The Genie once more snapped his fingers and all the bears in the world, except for the Bear, were females.
Now, the Rabbit made his final wish: I wish that the Bear was gay!
__________________ 
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
| | |
07-10-2007, 03:40 AM
|
#35 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 4,585
Country:  | Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered he door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house"
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weathe r had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out "I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
__________________ 
"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
| | |
07-10-2007, 06:42 AM
|
#36 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 4,786
Country: |
__________________ | |
| | |
07-13-2007, 05:23 AM
|
#37 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 2,778
Country: | ...
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
| | |
07-13-2007, 09:58 AM
|
#38 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 4,786
Country: |
__________________ | |
| | |
07-13-2007, 11:53 AM
|
#39 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Saffron Walden/Sheffield
Posts: 3,001
Country:  | 
Didn't realise he was looking for a replacement for Camilla so soon.
__________________ 
When you realise that the light at the end of the tunnel is actually an oncoming train, you know it's time to run for your life | |
| | |
07-13-2007, 01:21 PM
|
#40 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 4,585
Country: | Wow, he's really impressed with medals, huh!
__________________
"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
| | |
07-15-2007, 12:51 PM
|
#41 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 4,786
Country: |
__________________ | |
| | |
07-15-2007, 06:24 PM
|
#42 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kiwi Land
Posts: 846
Country:  | A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. Johnny answers, "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."
__________________
4 out of 5 voices in my head say I am normal. Majority rules.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. | |
| | |
07-16-2007, 09:24 AM
|
#43 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 4,786
Country: |
__________________ | |
| | |
07-16-2007, 03:10 PM
|
#44 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kiwi Land
Posts: 846
Country: | Opening line... Which part had you confused. 
__________________
4 out of 5 voices in my head say I am normal. Majority rules.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. | |
| | |
07-17-2007, 01:25 AM
|
#45 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 2,778
Country: | ...
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
| | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode | 
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off | | | All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:07 PM. | | |
