 | Quokes/Jokes... Continued! Chapter 3| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jokes... Continued! Chapter 3 in the Current forums; Doug, I saw a list of those maintenance jokes and if they are the ones I'm thinking of, they ... |
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04-02-2008, 12:06 AM
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#676 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 7,175
Country:  | Doug, I saw a list of those maintenance jokes and if they are the ones I'm thinking of, they are the best! Hope you find them. I'll try to remember where I saw them.
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04-02-2008, 04:00 AM
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#677 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 5,818
Country:  | Good laugh again Doug. The maintenance stuff is great too looking forward to more of it..... | |
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04-02-2008, 10:13 PM
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#678 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 804
Country: | Chris & Wayne, I'm glad you guys enjoyed the jokes. It's always good to laugh. I'll look again tomorrow for the maintenance jokes. We're in the process of moving and you know how that goes.
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04-03-2008, 03:08 AM
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#679 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 5,818
Country: | A Husband and wife found it hard to get a babysitter and they decided the only way to make love at home was to send their eight year old son out on the balcony.
The boy, pretending to be a super spy, began to report all the neighbourhood activities…
“ Mrs Smith is hanging out her washing,” the boy said. “A taxi just drove by, a kid is riding his new bicycle, and the Brown’s are having sex!”
His Mum and dad sat upright and said ,”How do you know that?”
“Because their kid is standing on the balcony too.” He replied. | |
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04-03-2008, 03:24 AM
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#680 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 3,388
Country:  |
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04-03-2008, 08:16 AM
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#681 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 7,175
Country: |
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"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
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04-03-2008, 08:50 AM
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#682 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bucharest
Posts: 832
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These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection of a child's toy made of paper."Henri Coanda" | |
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04-03-2008, 10:43 AM
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#683 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Nora Springs, Iowa
Posts: 260
Country: | Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayne Little  A Husband and wife found it hard to get a babysitter and they decided the only way to make love at home was to send their eight year old son out on the balcony.
The boy, pretending to be a super spy, began to report all the neighbourhood activities…
“ Mrs Smith is hanging out her washing,” the boy said. “A taxi just drove by, a kid is riding his new bicycle, and the Brown’s are having sex!”
His Mum and dad sat upright and said ,”How do you know that?”
“Because their kid is standing on the balcony too.” He replied. |  AS soon as I come back and I see laugh-a-planty.
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Commanding General, Luzon Forces, 1942
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- Cabantuan P.O.W.'s flag motto.  | |
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04-03-2008, 06:35 PM
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#684 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 4,740
Country: | Love your work Wayne!
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04-03-2008, 10:22 PM
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#685 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 804
Country: | Very Good Wayne!!!
Time for a true story...
Last summer my wife and I and our then seven year old granddaughter, who we are raising, had to take a 150 mile trip. On the way home late in the afternoon and about 15 miles from home I got pulled over by a State Trooper for doing 61 in a 55 zone. The trooper walks up to the car and asks for the usual documents (Papers Please! with heavy "B" movie German accent). So he looks at me and says "Mr. D do you have any priors?" I replied "No sir I don't" Just then a little voice in the back seat says in a loud voice "Yes you do Papa, you have a whole lot of them at home in your tool box!" The trooper and I both looked at each other and I'm sure there was a panic type look on my face. After about three LLLoooonnnngggg seconds it dawned on me what she thought he said. "I quick replied "No Sweetie, the officer didn't say PLIERS, he said PRIORS" All of us got a good laugh out of it and I got off with a warning. And Luci got a Junior State Trooper Badge!
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04-03-2008, 10:48 PM
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#686 | | aka Dickcheese
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 11,097
Country: | That's a beauty!
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04-04-2008, 05:26 AM
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#687 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 5,818
Country: | That's great Doug!.. 
Another one...
A US border patrol agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes, right by the border fence. He pulls him out and says,” sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now!”
The Mexican pleads with him, “No, Noooo senor, I must stay in de USA, pleeeze!”
The agent thinks to himself, “ I’m going to make this hard for him.” And says:” Ok , I’ll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence.”
The Mexican of course, agrees. The border patrol agent tells him, “The three words are, green pink and yellow, now use them in one sentence.”
The Mexican thinks really hard for a couple of minutes and says….” The phone, it went green, green, green, I pink it up and sez, ‘yellow’.” | |
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04-04-2008, 05:46 AM
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#688 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
Posts: 7,332
Country: |
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04-04-2008, 05:54 AM
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#689 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 4,740
Country: | thats a ripper Doug!  @ wayne
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04-04-2008, 05:41 PM
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#690 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,260
| Superman was patrolling the city´s skies when he spotted WonderWoman taking a sunbath on her private terrace...she was completely naked and with her legs spread wide open.
Superman thought to himself: "This is my chance to have intercourse with Super Woman...knowing my superior speed is that i will dive on her at the speed of light, have intercourse with her to immediately fly away...she will not even know what happened...here i go..."
Superman commenced his dive at the speed of light and hit his target and fled the spot.
Superwoman noticed something strange and asked the Invisible Man: "What was that honey?".
He replied: "I do not know but for one second my as+hole itched a lot..."
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Last edited by Udet : 04-04-2008 at 05:47 PM.
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