 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3 in the Current forums; ... |
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04-04-2008, 06:55 PM
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#691 | | Senior Member
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04-04-2008, 07:36 PM
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#692 | | Solopsist Extraordinaire
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
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"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-04-2008, 10:23 PM
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#693 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 802
Country: | OOOOWWWWW!!!! 
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04-05-2008, 04:23 AM
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#694 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 3,775
Country: | A Teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories……
Karl said: “ My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying chooks. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all of the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.”
“What’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!” said Karl. “Very Good” said the teacher.
Next, little Emily raised her hand and said: “Our family farms too, but we raise chooks for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we got only ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is: ‘Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.”
“That was a fine story, Emily,” said the teacher. “Mick, do you have a story to share?”
“Yes,” said Mick. “My dad told me this story about my Aunty Sharon, who was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was three bottles of rum, a machinegun and a machete. She drank all the rum on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed 20 more with the machete until the blade broke, and then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands.”
“Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did your father tell you from that horrible story?”
“Well,” said Mick, “Stay the hell away from Auntie Sharon when she’s been on the pi*s!” | |
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04-05-2008, 05:45 AM
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#695 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bucharest
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These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection of a child's toy made of paper."Henri Coanda" | 
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04-05-2008, 06:26 AM
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#696 | | Siggy Master
Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Poland
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04-05-2008, 11:02 AM
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#697 | | Solopsist Extraordinaire
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
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Country: | The teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered," she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these
stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my
kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start
and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Ffff, Ffff Ffff...
And before he could say "F#ck," the Rottweiller ate him!"
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-05-2008, 11:08 AM
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#698 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 1,825
Country: | good one
__________________  Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. | |
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04-05-2008, 11:26 AM
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#699 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 5,305
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JAN
"I´m going back to the front to relax"
"THE BLACK CATS FLIES TONIGHT"
"Find your enemy and shoot him down - everything else is unimportant"
"When you're out of F-8's... You're out of fighters!" | |
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04-05-2008, 02:35 PM
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#700 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bucharest
Posts: 812
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These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection of a child's toy made of paper."Henri Coanda" | |
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04-05-2008, 05:10 PM
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#701 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 3,775
Country: | Excellent... | |
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04-06-2008, 10:41 AM
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#702 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: South Jersey, United States
Posts: 5,715
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"If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it's English, thank a soldier!" | |
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04-06-2008, 11:29 AM
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#703 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 1,825
Country: | Thats funny nj!
__________________ Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. | |
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04-06-2008, 06:00 PM
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#704 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 3,775
Country: | LMAO... Good one! | |
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04-07-2008, 06:18 PM
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#705 | | Solopsist Extraordinaire
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 9,151
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__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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