 | Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3| OFF-Topic / Misc. Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! Chapter 3 in the Current forums; Thanks...I needed a laugh...... |
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04-12-2008, 07:18 AM
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#721 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 3,173
Country:  | Thanks...I needed a laugh... 
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04-12-2008, 08:34 AM
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#722 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bucharest
Posts: 804
Country:  | Great jokes guys!
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These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection of a child's toy made of paper."Henri Coanda" | |
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04-12-2008, 10:47 PM
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#723 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 795
Country:  | The airliner was boarding as usual when this one young lady takes a seat in First Class. The Flight Attendant (FA) goes up to her and asks for her ticket. She then tells the woman that she only has a coach ticket and must go back to the coach seating. The woman reply "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Los Angeles first class." The FA tries to explain the seating arrangements but the woman again replies "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to L.A. first class." The Capt walks onboard and hearing the discussion pulls the F.A. to the side. He says "Don't worry, I'll take care of this." He walks up to the blond woman and asks her where she's going. Again the woman replies "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to L.A. first class." The Capt then leans over and whispers something in her ear. She immediately jumps up, grabs her belongings and dashes to the coach section. The F.A. is amazed and asks the Capt what he could possibly have said that made the woman move that fast? "It was easy," said the Capt. "I just told her the front of the plane wasn't going to L.A." 
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04-13-2008, 07:30 AM
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#724 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 3,173
Country: | Brilliant!!
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04-13-2008, 10:40 AM
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#725 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 2,958
Country:  | ...
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"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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04-14-2008, 01:33 PM
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#726 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 8,949
Country: | .
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"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-14-2008, 01:39 PM
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#727 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 1,750
Country: | Holy crap i just snorted dr pepper out my nose! 
__________________  Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. | |
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04-14-2008, 04:01 PM
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#728 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 8,949
Country: | Harold is 92 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner,
Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, smoke a cigar, listen to music, ponder his accomplishments and reflect on his long life.
One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours had passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
"SEX!!" he replies.
Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while." "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds t o hold it.
Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. < /P>
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!
Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing Bastard! ----- What does Ethel have that I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"
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"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-14-2008, 04:51 PM
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#729 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Escondido,Ca
Posts: 1,750
Country: | ROFL!!!!!!!
__________________ Dont shoot him...... It will just make him angry. | |
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04-14-2008, 06:25 PM
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#730 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Adelaide Sth. Aust.
Posts: 3,173
Country: | Thats Great...
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04-14-2008, 08:37 PM
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#731 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alexandria, MN. USA
Posts: 795
Country: |
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04-16-2008, 11:21 AM
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#732 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cracow
Posts: 2,958
Country: |
__________________
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II - | |
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04-16-2008, 11:37 AM
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#733 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bucharest
Posts: 804
Country: |
__________________
These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection of a child's toy made of paper."Henri Coanda" | |
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04-16-2008, 08:09 PM
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#734 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Washington State
Posts: 8,949
Country: |
__________________
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan Master of Duplicate Posts | |
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04-17-2008, 09:16 AM
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#735 | | Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 1,938
Country: | Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim, climb a mountain, and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
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