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LONDON (Reuters) - The world's oldest recorded joke ... |
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08-15-2008, 01:59 AM
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#1111 | | Senior Member
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| World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC
World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC - Yahoo! News
LONDON (Reuters) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.
It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton Thursday.
A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."
The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."
"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.
"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."
The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.co.uk.
(Reporting by John Joseph; Editing by Steve Addison)
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08-16-2008, 11:35 AM
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#1112 | | Senior Member
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Country:  | A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.
After they got settled in their seats
a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,
'Are all of those kids yours?'
He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'
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08-17-2008, 05:16 AM
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08-17-2008, 08:21 AM
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__________________  Pillage, then burn.
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08-17-2008, 03:58 PM
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08-18-2008, 08:28 AM
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#1116 | | Senior Member
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Country: | A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane
when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador
Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the agent said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.'
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land. 'Say, that's pretty neat,' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.' I like it!' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again.. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to **** all over the place. The first man was really grossed out by this behaviour and couldn't
figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?'
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'
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08-18-2008, 12:41 PM
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#1117 | | Siggy Master
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From a dog trainer's diary....
The first day of training : A dog p***ed a carpet.I took its mouth into its p*** and threw the dog by a window.
The second day of training : The dog p***ed the carpet.I took its mouth into its p*** and threw the dog by the window.
The third day of training : The dog p***ed the carpet.I took its mouth into its p*** and threw the dog by the window.
The fourth day of training : The dog p***ed the carpet.Then it took its mouth into its p*** and jumped out through the window.
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08-18-2008, 06:56 PM
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#1118 | | Senior Member
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Country: | Q. Why will Jane Fonda vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Ho Chi Minh is dead.
If it's not that funny, at least it's true.
TO
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08-18-2008, 10:43 PM
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#1119 | | Senior Member
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Country: | Q: What do hurricanes in Florida, tornadoes in Oklahoma, and divorces in Arkansas all have in common?
A: No matter how bad the aftermath, somebody's losing a trailerhouse.
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08-19-2008, 08:17 AM
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#1120 | | Senior Member
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08-20-2008, 01:08 AM
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#1121 | | Senior Member
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Country: | Quote:
Originally Posted by RabidAlien  Q: What do hurricanes in Florida, tornadoes in Oklahoma, and divorces in Arkansas all have in common?
A: No matter how bad the aftermath, somebody's losing a trailerhouse. |
LOL! I sent that to my best friend last year in OK and found out a few hours later she read it while under a tornado warning....
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08-20-2008, 07:59 AM
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#1122 | | Senior Member
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Country: | Timing is everything!!!
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08-20-2008, 06:08 PM
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08-22-2008, 05:44 PM
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Country: | At dawn the telephone rings. “Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.”
“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead.”
“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, Senor, that's the one.”
“Damn, that's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?”
“From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.”
“Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.”
“My prize thoroughbred is dead?”
“Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane? What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.”
“Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”
“The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”
“What? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?”
“Yes, Senor Rod...”
“But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”
“For the funeral, Senor Rod.”
“WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!”
“Your wife's, Senor Rod. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new TaylorMade SuperQuad 460 golf club.”
SILENCE... LONG SILENCE...
“Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep #*@&!@*#$%!!!!!!!!”
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08-23-2008, 04:11 AM
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#1125 | | Senior Member
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