Things you would never know if it weren’t for the movies…

[Hunter368]

·Large, loft apartments In New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.

·One of a pair of twins is Evil.

·Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

·It doesn’t matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one… dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.

·When you turn out the light to go to bed, every thing in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.

·Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fused, deadly gasses, laser, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

·It is easy to land a plane, provided that there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

·The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think to look for you there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

·You’re very likely to survive any battle in a war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

·A man will show no pain while taking the most horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tried to clean his wounds.

·If someone says, “I’ll be right back,” they won’t.

·Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to time.

· Police departments give their Officers personality tests to make sure each is assigned a partner who is their total opposite

[Negative Creep]

- If anybody ever coughs, even once, then they have a terminal disease and will die before the movies end.

- All headshots will hit dead centre, right above the eyes

- Guns never run out of bullets, except at vital moments.

- The baddies minions will die instantly when hit. The hero will only ever get hit in the arm. If any other good guy is fatally wounded, they will last long enough and have the coherence for prophetic last words

- All bags of shopping have a stick of French bread in them

- Cars, planes etc will always explode when shot, even if there is no fuel in them

- After an accident, wounding or near miss, a character will never go into shock

- A car chase can result in massive destruction of cars and property, yet a pedestrian will never, ever get hit. Also, it is possible to jump into a vehicle you have never driven, know where the controls are and operate it like a pro

- If a monster or killer is on the loose, the best thing to do is go and investigate any strange occurances on your own.

- Police sirens will always be heard just after the even has happened and the baddies are dead

- All military units must be led by an out of his depth officer, helped by a war weary but ultimately kindly Sargent. Said unit must contain the good looking hero, the crazy one, the religious one (who will go a bit crazy as well), the chubby one, the black / hispanic / asian one, and the rookie (who will die)

- All police captains are black

- All bombs have a nice big, easy to read counter

- All Asian people are martial arts masters

- All British people are upper class stiff upper lip types, or honest flat cap workers

- Despite being able to move in every axis in space, ships will alwyas approach on a level course

[Soundbreaker Welch?]

- All military units must be led by an out of his depth officer, helped by a war weary but ultimately kindly Sargent. Said unit must contain the good looking hero, the crazy one, the religious one (who will go a bit crazy as well), the chubby one, the black / hispanic / asian one, and the rookie (who will die)

aka Flyboys?

[amrit]

Originally Posted by Negative Creep

- The baddies minions will die instantly when hit. The hero will only ever get hit in the arm. If any other good guy is fatally wounded, they will last long enough and have the coherence for prophetic last words......

.......but in Indian films, they'll also be able to sing and dance as well

Everyone can reload and fire a gun, and hit their target - even if they've never touched one before

Wearing red is a sure sign of your impending death (or is that only in Star Trek )

[timshatz]

Watched the French version of Cyrano De Bergerak (Sp?) about 15 years ago(I know, everyone is wondering "Why the hell did you do that Tim?", slow day, cable was out, the golf links were full...in short, I don't know).

Anyway, Cyrano is played by Gerard Depardu. He gets shot/stabbed in the first 20 minutes of the movie and takes another hour and a half to die. In the whole time, he never shut up! He would've lived if he'd only stopped talking! But no, being French, he just had to blab-blab-blab his way into the casket. UGHHHHHHH!

In short, no matter how bad the hero is in an Indian movie, at least he can sing or dance. Hell, all that Frenchie did was babble. Ahhhh, it killed me.

[trackend]

All grenades can have the pins removed using just teeth
Achtung covers everything in German apart from "ve hav vays of making you tock"
The Gestapo have absolutely no sense of humour and wear long leather coats.
John Wayne won the War even when he drove a bulldozer.
All British pilots say "Jolly Good Show Chaps" and "Tally ho"
No one gets shot in the balls.
Jean Claude Van Dam can beat anyone by doing the splits.
James Bond can get a girl to drop her knickers by saying hello.
All news casts are true.
So are all adverts, put some gloop on your face and you'll look like a 20 year old model before you can say size zero.
All space ship weapons are incapable of hitting the target first shot and the engines can never take it but always do.
Also everyone got beamed up poor old Scottie, he never struck me as being gay though he did walk a bit funny at times.
Then I suppose a lieutenant Ahuru up the chuff piece would have that effect would'nt it

[Negative Creep]

Originally Posted by trackend

All news casts are true

Further to that, you will always turn on a TV to catch the exact start of the story, and it will instantly tell you what you need to know. Furthermore, the newscaster will allow a pause for you to speak before continuing.

For example
*click*
'Terror has gripped New York as the sadistic serial killer continues his attacks....'
'Oh no, we'd better warn Billy Bob, that manic could be anywhere!'
'.......police still have no leads'

edited to add

- Anyone who falls / is thrown from a building will land on a parked car. They will also be able to scream all the way down

- Nobody ever gets hit by shrapnel or ricochets

- You can jump into water from a great height with no ill effects

- Decisive goals/points cannot be scored until the last few seconds of the game

- Zombies, despite moving very slowly, are able to catch up with running people. Also, even after it is established they can only be killed via a shot to the head, characters will continue to aim at the body

- SWAT teams, despite their high level of training and equipment, will always fail their mission with heavy casualties, unless the hero is part of that team

- Driving round a corner at anything above normal speeds will result in massive tyre squeal

- Cars that aren't rear wheel drive can still go sideways very easily