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Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

Old Threads Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Old Stuff forums; What?...

  1. #271
    Senior Member 102first_hussars's Avatar
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    What?

    Hello me...meet the real me.
    And my misfits way of life.
    A dark black past is my
    Most valued possession.
    Hindsight is always 20-20,
    But looking back its still a bit fuzzy.
    Speak of mutually assured destruction?
    Nice story...tell it to readers digest!!!

  2. #272
    Senior Member loomaluftwaffe's Avatar
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    these comics rock!!!



    "The German Luftwaffe always fought without any reserves. This is also the reason why we have pilots with extremely high numbers of victories."
    - General der Jagdflieger Adolf Galland"



  3. #273
    Senior Member Pisis's Avatar
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    The 2nd one rocks!
    And MM's referring to the link I've posted up there.
    "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too." - Airplane!

    Memory of Nation

    Why Did Hitler Want Czechoslovakia

    WW2 Was A War That Had To Be Fought!

    Children of Hamas


  4. #274
    World Travelling Doctor? Gnomey's Avatar
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    Yeah the cartoons are great


    "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
    Sir Winston Churchill

    "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
    Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London


    My Photo Collections on Flickr

  5. #275
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    Couple of my faves....
    Attached Images

  6. #276
    Senior Member Tiger's Avatar
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    A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000
    and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home from her final
    post-op doctor visit, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before
    leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how
    old do you think I am?"

    "About 32," is the reply.

    "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

    A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
    very same question.

    The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

    The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

    Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on
    her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and
    asks the clerk this burning question.

    The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

    Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

    While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to
    her the same question.

    He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
    young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was."

    "What is it?" she asks.

    He replies, "It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my
    hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
    are."

    They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best
    of her.

    She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

    He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very
    slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently
    pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
    each other..

    After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay, that's enough
    already. How old am I?"

    He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says,
    "Madam, you are 50."

    Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
    tell?"

    The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

    "I promise I won't.." she says.

    "I was behind you in line at McDonald's...."

  7. #277
    v2
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    "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible."
    - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

  8. #278
    Senior Member loomaluftwaffe's Avatar
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    "The German Luftwaffe always fought without any reserves. This is also the reason why we have pilots with extremely high numbers of victories."
    - General der Jagdflieger Adolf Galland"



  9. #279
    World Travelling Doctor? Gnomey's Avatar
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    "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
    Sir Winston Churchill

    "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
    Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London


    My Photo Collections on Flickr

  10. #280
    v2
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    ...
    Attached Images

    "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible."
    - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

  11. #281
    Senior Member Pisis's Avatar
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    Hahahaha @ the McDonald's Breast joke.
    "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too." - Airplane!

    Memory of Nation

    Why Did Hitler Want Czechoslovakia

    WW2 Was A War That Had To Be Fought!

    Children of Hamas


  12. #282
    Senior Member Wildcat's Avatar
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    Yep that joke is great! Seen that RAAF penthouse one before.

  13. #283
    Siggy Master Wurger's Avatar
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    Both are

  14. #284
    Senior Member loomaluftwaffe's Avatar
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    "The German Luftwaffe always fought without any reserves. This is also the reason why we have pilots with extremely high numbers of victories."
    - General der Jagdflieger Adolf Galland"



  15. #285
    Senior Member Pisis's Avatar
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    "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too." - Airplane!

    Memory of Nation

    Why Did Hitler Want Czechoslovakia

    WW2 Was A War That Had To Be Fought!

    Children of Hamas


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