Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

[Glider]

Found this quote
Controller (zu einer C-130 Hercules der USAF): US 1234, there is helicopter traffic 5 miles ahead, reduce to 130kt. Captain: OK, we´re bringing this big bird back to 130kt for you ...
Controller: (bald darauf): US 1234, helicopter traffic now 2 miles ahead, reduce to 110kt.
Captain: OK, we´re bringing this big bird back to 110kt for you ...
Controller: (etwas nervös): US 1234, helicopter traffic is now 0.5 miles ahead of you, reduce to 90 kt.
Captain: Sir, do you know what the stall speed of a Hercules is ?
Controller: No Sir, but you may ask your Co-Pilot, perhaps he knows ...

[Gnomey]

[v2]

High LOL !

[v2]

It's happened last night...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

[Gnomey]

lol!

[Glider]

Brilliant, couldn't make it up

[marconi]

http://cellar.org/iotd.php?threadid=10491

[Gnomey]

lol

[v2]

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060424/comix

[Henk]

It's happened last night...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

That is brilliant mate.

Henk

[Pisis]

LOL that foam thingo is "cool"

[pbfoot]

this is taken from a kids 5th grade essay
When I grow up I want to be a pilot because its a fun job and easy to do thats why there are so many pilots flying around today. pilots don't need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments. I guess they should learn to read a road map too.
Pilots should be brave so they won't get scared if its foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor falls off . Pilots should nave good eyes to see through clouds and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them then we are.
The salary pilots make is another thing I like . They make more money then they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous. except pilots don't because they know how easy it is .
I hope don't get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick I couldn't become pilot and would have to go to work.
This was pilots response
Jeez kid you sure are smart for grade 5 . I had hardly begun to shave when I was in 5th grade and you can already write.
Most of the things you say need some clearing up
-pilots don't need to read numbers to check their instruments - we have flight engineers to do that
- they don't need to read road maps thats why we have navigators
- we don't worry about the weather the met section tells us when not to fly and the ATC's help us if we forget
-wings and motors hardly ever fall off ( the technicians use lots of glue)
So you see air time is spent learning important things like remembering which end of the opener is for cans and which end is for bottles and where we parked our cars after TGIF
Your right about the money part but wrong about the easy stuff . Its awfully hard work remembering which button to push to avoid getting the electric shock and which switch to get the banana

[Henk]

lol that is good.

Henk

[loomaluftwaffe]

[Gnomey]