"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -
A young man was engaged to be married to a wonderful young woman. His fiance' had a sister and she was 18 and gorgeous. He hears a knock at his door and the hot sister is standing outside. He invites her in and offers her something to drink.
"I thought that I would stop by and let you know that I have had a crush on you ever since we first met", said the sister. "I recognize that you are about to marry my sister, but thought that perhaps before you formally committed to her, you might wish to have one last encounter. I understand you might have trepidation, so I'll go upstairs to your room get naked and slip into the bed. If you come up great. If you don't, that is fine too, and nothing will be said."
The sister leans over to push away from the table, exposing entirely too much cleavage and leaves the room heading up the stairs.
The man grabs his car keys and literally flies out the front door to his car, where his fiance' is waiting for him, standing with her arms crossed, leaning against his car. She says, "Congratulations. You have passed the test."
The moral of the story - Never keep your condoms in the car's glovebox.
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
"Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
Sir Winston Churchill
"To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London
"A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible." - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
Rubbish robber gets fingered
Friday, December 15, 2006
Making a late, but impressive, bid for the title of 2006's stupidest criminal is the man who tried to commit an armed robbery in Des Moines on Thursday. The one flaw in his otherwise perfect armed robbery plan was that he wasn't armed.
Instead, he'd gone for the time-honoured method of sticking his hand in his coat pocket, pointing his fingers, and claiming it was a gun.
Unfortunately, his gun-impersonating skills left something to be desired. Terry Cook, the store clerk he was trying to rob, commented: 'I knew it was his finger. I could see his thumb sticking out of his coat pocket.'
When Cook pointed this out, the robbers' response was: 'It is a gun.' Quick as a flash, Cook came back with the riposte, 'No it isn't.'
Before the conversation could degenerate any further into playground back-and-forth, the would-be robber decided to walk off, defeated.
Cook pointed out in the aftermath where he felt his advtantage lay in the clash with the criminal. 'I know what a gun looks like,' he pointed out. 'I'm not stupid.'
Sgt. David Coy, speaking for the Des Moines police, lent his skills of forensic analysis to the matter. 'Think about it,' he noted. 'When you play cops and robbers how do you hold your hand? With the thumb sticking up, right?'
Ahhhhh. All that was missing was him saying...
"All right mother-stickers,this is a f**k-up. Put your asses over your head or I'll blow your hands off."
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
Marines don't have that problem."
-- Ronald Reagan
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