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Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

Old Threads Discuss Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2! in the Old Stuff forums; Hmmmm. Lanc has indeed been counting sheep.......

  1. #1291
    Senior Member twoeagles's Avatar
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    Hmmmm. Lanc has indeed been counting sheep....


  2. #1292
    World Travelling Doctor? Gnomey's Avatar
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    Or at least counting something to do with sheep....


    "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
    Sir Winston Churchill

    "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
    Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London


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  3. #1293
    Senior Member Ajax's Avatar
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    is he welsh? just curious...


    "We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
    -Sir Winston Churchill

  4. #1294
    World Travelling Doctor? Gnomey's Avatar
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    Cornish...


    "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
    Sir Winston Churchill

    "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
    Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London


    My Photo Collections on Flickr

  5. #1295
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    "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible."
    - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

  6. #1296
    Siggy Master Wurger's Avatar
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  7. #1297
    Glock Perfection Matt308's Avatar
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    Sick.

    "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
    they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
    Marines don't have that problem."
    -- Ronald Reagan

    Master of Duplicate Posts

  8. #1298
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    A fifteen year-old boy came home with a red Porsche and his parents yelled at him, "Where did you get that car?”
    He calmly told them, "I bought it today.”
    "With what money?" demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
    "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
    So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.
    "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. “I don't know her name, they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
    "Oh my Goodness!!" moaned the mother, "She must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next?
    John, you go right up there and see what's going on.”
    So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
    "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
    Are women good or what?

    "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible."
    - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

  9. #1299
    Senior Member Ajax's Avatar
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    Poor Bloke...

    It's not often Brits swear like that...
    Normally
    Last edited by Ajax; 04-04-2007 at 06:58 PM.


    "We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English."
    -Sir Winston Churchill

  10. #1300
    Glock Perfection Matt308's Avatar
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    An oldie but goodie. And almost a tragic accident.

    "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
    they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
    Marines don't have that problem."
    -- Ronald Reagan

    Master of Duplicate Posts

  11. #1301
    Glock Perfection Matt308's Avatar
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    Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball
    into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.
    Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.


    All of a sudden.....POOF ! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature!


    Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing
    what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.......As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!!!!!

    Then POOF!......she was gone !


    After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"
    Fred yells back "I'm over here in the pussywillows."


    Dave shouts back, "DON'T SWING, Fred; for the love of God, DON'T
    SWING!!!

    "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
    they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
    Marines don't have that problem."
    -- Ronald Reagan

    Master of Duplicate Posts

  12. #1302
    World Travelling Doctor? Gnomey's Avatar
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    LOL


    "Success is not Final, Failure is not Fatal, it is the Courage to Continue that Counts"
    Sir Winston Churchill

    "To him the People of the World Largely owe the Freedom and Liberties they Enjoy Today"
    Enscription on Hugh Dowding's (AOC Fighter Command 1936-40) statue in London


    My Photo Collections on Flickr

  13. #1303
    Senior Member Ajax's Avatar
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    Thumbs up lol



    Gnomey is there somthing you're not telling us?

    Then again, I can't say much...




    And if you don't like thai (or chinese)

    ______________________________________________
    Last edited by Ajax; 04-06-2007 at 06:43 PM.

  14. #1304
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    ...
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    "A good fighter pilot, like a good boxer, should have a knockout punch..... You will find one attack you prefer to all others. Work on it till you can do it to perfection... then use it whenever possible."
    - Captain Reade Tilley, USAAF 7 Victories, WW-II -

  15. #1305
    Glock Perfection Matt308's Avatar
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    Loser.

    Native American Observation - - -

    Recently an old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a Ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U. S. Government officials sent by the President to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done." The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

    The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

    "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if
    they made a difference in the world. But, the [U.S.]
    Marines don't have that problem."
    -- Ronald Reagan

    Master of Duplicate Posts

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