I can identify with this church -

drgondog · 07-16-2007, 07:51 PM

>1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... The finance committee
>refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
>because none of the members knows how to play one .

>2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . People ask, when they learn
>that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and
>what bait was used to catch 'em.

>3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .When the pastor says, "I'd
>like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

>4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . Opening day of deer season
>is recognized as an official church holiday.

>5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... A member of the church
>requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never
>been in a hole it couldn't get out of"

>6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . The choir is known as the
>"OK Chorale! ".

>7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . In a congregation of 500
>members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

>8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . People think "rapture"
>is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

>9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . The baptismal pool is a #2
>galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

>10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .. The choir robes were
>donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

>11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .. The collection plates are
>really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

>12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... Instead of a bell you are
>called to service by a duck call.

>13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if . The minister and his wife
>drive matching pickup trucks.

>14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if .. The communion wine is
>Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

>15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet"
>applies to huntin' dogs, too.

>16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if .. The final words of the
>benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".

There are a whole lot of places less divine to worship than this one..no 'airs' just people who care about each other

Get er'done!

Bill

Njaco · 07-16-2007, 08:06 PM

I know that church! I go there for Sunday Service every Wednesday!

syscom3 · 07-16-2007, 08:23 PM

hehehehhehehe.

Good post.

mkloby · 07-16-2007, 09:22 PM

Haha - funny, I like the hubcap one. One thing that always makes me chuckle in the south is when it's just me standing there by my lonesome and a cashier says, "Ya'll come back and see us." I always think "You all who? It's just me???"

Cyrano · 07-17-2007, 06:10 AM

OK Chorale

Graeme · 07-17-2007, 06:27 AM

My brother recently returned from the States (Texas) and told me of the time he was driving on a freeway and came up behind a pick-up truck. A large sticker on the back read 'Don't honk, we're just reloading the shotguns.' He overtook and by chance(?), that's exactly what they were doing. God bless America.

timshatz · 07-17-2007, 07:56 AM

Gotta love Rednecks. Know what they are and that is pretty much that.

drgondog · 07-17-2007, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graeme

My brother recently returned from the States (Texas) and told me of the time he was driving on a freeway and came up behind a pick-up truck. A large sticker on the back read 'Don't honk, we're just reloading the shotguns.' He overtook and by chance(?), that's exactly what they were doing. God bless America.

I have a couple of left wing, commie lovin' Brit friends who think all Texans are crazy - this post actually came from one of them, thinking it was an insult.

I am forever needling them regarding the US being the only country to kick their ass twice - without allies!

Negative Creep · 07-18-2007, 07:05 PM

There is a very popular motoring show here called Top Gear, who did an American special where they brought various cars for under $1000 then drove from Florida to New Orleans. One of the challenges involved getting the fellow presenters into trouble by daubing various slogans onto eachother's cars; 'Man love rules OK' and 'Hillary for President' and something to do with religion. Suffice to say, it all went wrong really quickly as a petrol station manager didn't see the funny side, calling in 'the boys'. Cue a pickup full of rednecks who sent presenters and filmcrew running for their lives!

From a British perspective, the fact such a thing could happen is incredible. Ok, driving round a rough area claiming to be gay would get you into trouble, but nobody would look twice at you supporting a mainstream political party or not bieng Christian. Considering this is one of the highest rated shows in the country, it really didn't do much to change the stereotypical view of the South!

mkloby · 07-20-2007, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Negative Creep

There is a very popular motoring show here called Top Gear, who did an American special where they brought various cars for under $1000 then drove from Florida to New Orleans. One of the challenges involved getting the fellow presenters into trouble by daubing various slogans onto eachother's cars; 'Man love rules OK' and 'Hillary for President' and something to do with religion. Suffice to say, it all went wrong really quickly as a petrol station manager didn't see the funny side, calling in 'the boys'. Cue a pickup full of rednecks who sent presenters and filmcrew running for their lives!

From a British perspective, the fact such a thing could happen is incredible. Ok, driving round a rough area claiming to be gay would get you into trouble, but nobody would look twice at you supporting a mainstream political party or not bieng Christian. Considering this is one of the highest rated shows in the country, it really didn't do much to change the stereotypical view of the South!

Gotta love Dixie.

drgondog · 07-22-2007, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Negative Creep

There is a very popular motoring show here called Top Gear, who did an American special where they brought various cars for under $1000 then drove from Florida to New Orleans. One of the challenges involved getting the fellow presenters into trouble by daubing various slogans onto eachother's cars; 'Man love rules OK' and 'Hillary for President' and something to do with religion. Suffice to say, it all went wrong really quickly as a petrol station manager didn't see the funny side, calling in 'the boys'. Cue a pickup full of rednecks who sent presenters and filmcrew running for their lives!

From a British perspective, the fact such a thing could happen is incredible. Ok, driving round a rough area claiming to be gay would get you into trouble, but nobody would look twice at you supporting a mainstream political party or not bieng Christian. Considering this is one of the highest rated shows in the country, it really didn't do much to change the stereotypical view of the South!

You don't suppose that I could plan and execute a couple of 'drive throughs' in South London with auto marked "Sooties (Rag heads, Paki's) or 'Wogs are fudgepackers' that I couldn't elicit a filmable reaction?

Negative Creep · 07-22-2007, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drgondog

You don't suppose that I could plan and execute a couple of 'drive throughs' in South London with auto marked "Sooties (Rag heads, Paki's) or 'Wogs are fudgepackers' that I couldn't elicit a filmable reaction?

Well, you would be arrested for inciting racial hatred. Those phrases are somewhat worse than the ones they used on the show. Also, spraying 'David Cameron for PM' down the side of your car would provoke no response whatsoever. The clips should be on youtube if anyone's interested

Emac44 · 07-22-2007, 10:02 PM

You know I found the posting funny. got to enjoy humour and the ability to take the mickey out of ourselves on occassions

Gnomey · 07-24-2007, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Negative Creep

There is a very popular motoring show here called Top Gear, who did an American special where they brought various cars for under $1000 then drove from Florida to New Orleans. One of the challenges involved getting the fellow presenters into trouble by daubing various slogans onto eachother's cars; 'Man love rules OK' and 'Hillary for President' and something to do with religion. Suffice to say, it all went wrong really quickly as a petrol station manager didn't see the funny side, calling in 'the boys'. Cue a pickup full of rednecks who sent presenters and filmcrew running for their lives!

From a British perspective, the fact such a thing could happen is incredible. Ok, driving round a rough area claiming to be gay would get you into trouble, but nobody would look twice at you supporting a mainstream political party or not bieng Christian. Considering this is one of the highest rated shows in the country, it really didn't do much to change the stereotypical view of the South!

True, it was still a very funny episode from a British perspective although as you say the stereotypes stayed very much in place.

For those that haven't seen it here is the clip:

MilkandCookies - Top Gear: Alabama