Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Brilliant....bl**dy brilliant!! ROTFLMFAO!!! 
Get Lucky!
- Thread starter Njaco
- Start date
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Brilliant....bl**dy brilliant!! ROTFLMFAO!!! 
Catch22
Major
Hahaha.
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
Looking good, Chris. I hope your pal makes it to the head....
Charles
Charles
- Thread starter
- #205
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
I broke out the Exit door and into the dusk of the setting sun. I ran past the Morgans, the Tatas and the Ladas in the parking lot and on into the town. I made it to a large highway and crossed it like a deer on Red Bull. I kept running. Past homes and stores selling deep-fried Mars bars and surströmming, past street sweepers and drunks in the road, past an old lady being mugged by a lesbian transvestite. I ran and ran. No more planes, no more taxis, no more trains. I had enough of the freakin' transportation around here. I finally slowed down when the houses disappeared behind me and the sun diappeared in front of me. I stopped and took in my surroundings.
I was on a two-lane road in the middle of no-where. No houses, a few trees, a McDonald's and from what I could see, fields of tall wheat or corn or Brussel sprouts. My kidneys started talking to me and I felt it was about time to water the flowers. A short pause and I could get on with the case. I felt close to getting Lucky and I actually felt better than I had since Boston. I stepped into the field and after about 100 yards, felt safe enough to unzip. But then a sound behind me made me stop.
Cutting through the noise of crickets and passing wind, I heard something take a step behind me. Before I could turn I was body slammed to the ground in a bear hug and pinned hard. In the dark I could make out a female form on top of me wearing two pieces of ratty leather loin cloth covering the interesting areas. She was strong and had my arms down at my wrists. All kinds of thoughts were racing through my head and not one acceptable for this thread. One thing I knew, she wasn't from Post #31. I finally spoke.
"You've got my attention. " I said, taking in the sights. She had more more curves than a race track.
"What tribe are you?" she asked with her face so close to mine I could count her nose hairs. Her breath smelled of oppossum.
"What?" I replied.
"Tribe! What tribe are you from?" she demanded.
Further off I heard another sound, as if someone was tripping into a pile of sticks. She turned and yelled.
"Roscoe, over here! I've got somebody!"
She turned back to me and glared.
"What damn tribe are you?! Have you completed the Immunity Challenge? The Tribal Council is in an hour and we need to know what you know!"
I was stunned and my face must have looked like I was getting an enema because her grip slowly relaxed. Tribe? Immunity Challenge? What the hell was she talking about? I could hear this Roscue fop bashing and stumbling through the field like a baboon on Guinness and I suddenly had an urge to get out of there. The girl was like a candy bar; sweet but a little nuts and I didn't want to meet Roscoe from the Ministry of Silly Walks. My mind was focusing on my next move when Roscoe finally joined our little group. They say Will Rogers never met a man he didn't like, obviously he never met Roscoe.
I was on a two-lane road in the middle of no-where. No houses, a few trees, a McDonald's and from what I could see, fields of tall wheat or corn or Brussel sprouts. My kidneys started talking to me and I felt it was about time to water the flowers. A short pause and I could get on with the case. I felt close to getting Lucky and I actually felt better than I had since Boston. I stepped into the field and after about 100 yards, felt safe enough to unzip. But then a sound behind me made me stop.
Cutting through the noise of crickets and passing wind, I heard something take a step behind me. Before I could turn I was body slammed to the ground in a bear hug and pinned hard. In the dark I could make out a female form on top of me wearing two pieces of ratty leather loin cloth covering the interesting areas. She was strong and had my arms down at my wrists. All kinds of thoughts were racing through my head and not one acceptable for this thread. One thing I knew, she wasn't from Post #31. I finally spoke.
"You've got my attention. " I said, taking in the sights. She had more more curves than a race track.
"What tribe are you?" she asked with her face so close to mine I could count her nose hairs. Her breath smelled of oppossum.
"What?" I replied.
"Tribe! What tribe are you from?" she demanded.
Further off I heard another sound, as if someone was tripping into a pile of sticks. She turned and yelled.
"Roscoe, over here! I've got somebody!"
She turned back to me and glared.
"What damn tribe are you?! Have you completed the Immunity Challenge? The Tribal Council is in an hour and we need to know what you know!"
I was stunned and my face must have looked like I was getting an enema because her grip slowly relaxed. Tribe? Immunity Challenge? What the hell was she talking about? I could hear this Roscue fop bashing and stumbling through the field like a baboon on Guinness and I suddenly had an urge to get out of there. The girl was like a candy bar; sweet but a little nuts and I didn't want to meet Roscoe from the Ministry of Silly Walks. My mind was focusing on my next move when Roscoe finally joined our little group. They say Will Rogers never met a man he didn't like, obviously he never met Roscoe.
Attachments
wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
Thought you almost had lucky when you said lesbian transvestite 
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Ooiii!!
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
Out of the mouths of babes.....
Charles
Charles
Hello NJACO
really great stuff (arts), please keep it up
View attachment 62515
What drives me nuts and makes me focus the very center of your posted pic is, what the h..l is the meaning of SbB
Oh wait, could it be Super big Boobs? well now that I might be on the right track, yeah right these chicks do have big boobs. Isn't it strange that one needs a hint from time to time?
Regards
Kruska
really great stuff (arts), please keep it up
View attachment 62515
What drives me nuts and makes me focus the very center of your posted pic is, what the h..l is the meaning of SbB
Oh wait, could it be Super big Boobs? well now that I might be on the right track, yeah right these chicks do have big boobs. Isn't it strange that one needs a hint from time to time?
Regards
Kruska
A4K
Brigadier General
I'd rather see those two (or four??) than Tribe-girl and Roscoe at any rate...
Great stuff again Chris!
Great stuff again Chris!
- Thread starter
- #212
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Roscoe was built like a condom filled with marbles with a forehead to match. He stood in the light of the rising half-moon, wearing almost exactly what Candy Bar had on, except it didn't fit well. It hung in tatters and gravity was doing its best to pull it to the ground. He had bloody cuts across his shins but he didn't seem to notice them. I had never seen anything like him. His mother must have diapered his face and nursed his ass. He stood there, knuckles to the ground and glanced back and forth between myself and Candy Bar.
"Grunembarks." he said, almost belching it out.
"He won't tell me what tribe he's with." said Candy Bar.
"muckelfritz." he replied.
What the hell was he saying? I couldn't tell if he was speaking or had gas. And his breath was starting to bleach my hair. I've come across decomposed bodies that were less offensive than Roscoe.
"Shummmizz fil duffaloong" he spat out and pulled out a long cricket bat from behind him. He swung it a couple of times in my direction as if to make a point. He did. I looked at Candy Bar.
"What am I? Flypaper for freaks!" I said and stood up from the ground. Candy Bar turned her head to me, a quizzical look on her face. She looked as baffled as Adam on Mothers Day.
"We've never seen you before. Roscoe wants you to follow us to our camp.... or else." she said.
"dra meg baklengs inn i fuglekassa!" I replied. But sizing up the situation, I decided I would play along with them until I could get away. Besides, Roscoe didn't need a stick, his shorts and breath were killing me.
Candy Bar led the way with me following and Roscoe taking up the rear, tripping on every blade of grass. At least I was upwind. After a few minutes we came to a clearing on the edge of the field with a low burning campfire in the middle surrounded by a few large logs and some bags and blankets. Roscoe pushed me over to one of the logs and in that lilting voice of his directed to sit my arse down. At least that is what I thought he said. I watched as Beauty and the Beast seemed to have a private conversation and then Candy Bar walked up to me, standing a few inches from my face.
"Who are you?" she asked and Roscoe appeared to mimick her with a grunt of "hummille noxx".
I watched as Roscoe started to root around in one of the bags.
"My name is Slade and I need to take a whiz." I said suddenly remembering priorities.
"You have to prove you're not a spy." she said and turned to Roscoe. He handed her a lump of something that slowly started to ooze through her fingers. "Eat this" she said and plopped it in my lap. It sat there, oozing. And oozing.
"No thanks, I'm on a strict bean curd diet." I said and poked at it with a finger. It wasn't Jello.
"Eat it...or else." she said and Roscoe stepped closer.
"Ok, OK!" I replied. I looked at it again and could have sworn I saw it move by itself. "You have a fork or some catsup?"
I could actually hear Roscoe's breathing get faster and he pushed Candy Bar slightly to the side. He still had the bat in his hand, resting on his shoulder. Oh, what the hell, I thought and grabbed a handful of the stuff and shoved it in my mouth.
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"Grunembarks." he said, almost belching it out.
"He won't tell me what tribe he's with." said Candy Bar.
"muckelfritz." he replied.
What the hell was he saying? I couldn't tell if he was speaking or had gas. And his breath was starting to bleach my hair. I've come across decomposed bodies that were less offensive than Roscoe.
"Shummmizz fil duffaloong" he spat out and pulled out a long cricket bat from behind him. He swung it a couple of times in my direction as if to make a point. He did. I looked at Candy Bar.
"What am I? Flypaper for freaks!" I said and stood up from the ground. Candy Bar turned her head to me, a quizzical look on her face. She looked as baffled as Adam on Mothers Day.
"We've never seen you before. Roscoe wants you to follow us to our camp.... or else." she said.
"dra meg baklengs inn i fuglekassa!" I replied. But sizing up the situation, I decided I would play along with them until I could get away. Besides, Roscoe didn't need a stick, his shorts and breath were killing me.
Candy Bar led the way with me following and Roscoe taking up the rear, tripping on every blade of grass. At least I was upwind. After a few minutes we came to a clearing on the edge of the field with a low burning campfire in the middle surrounded by a few large logs and some bags and blankets. Roscoe pushed me over to one of the logs and in that lilting voice of his directed to sit my arse down. At least that is what I thought he said. I watched as Beauty and the Beast seemed to have a private conversation and then Candy Bar walked up to me, standing a few inches from my face.
"Who are you?" she asked and Roscoe appeared to mimick her with a grunt of "hummille noxx".
I watched as Roscoe started to root around in one of the bags.
"My name is Slade and I need to take a whiz." I said suddenly remembering priorities.
"You have to prove you're not a spy." she said and turned to Roscoe. He handed her a lump of something that slowly started to ooze through her fingers. "Eat this" she said and plopped it in my lap. It sat there, oozing. And oozing.
"No thanks, I'm on a strict bean curd diet." I said and poked at it with a finger. It wasn't Jello.
"Eat it...or else." she said and Roscoe stepped closer.
"Ok, OK!" I replied. I looked at it again and could have sworn I saw it move by itself. "You have a fork or some catsup?"
I could actually hear Roscoe's breathing get faster and he pushed Candy Bar slightly to the side. He still had the bat in his hand, resting on his shoulder. Oh, what the hell, I thought and grabbed a handful of the stuff and shoved it in my mouth.
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Attachments
wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
NJ if you stop i will come to the hell state you call home and pin you down till you write more u ....u....ill think of somthin..... Man great work all this about a skirt wearin guy........sounds funny if your in the U.S.
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
- Thread starter
- #216
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
A4K
Brigadier General
, and !!!!!
Top stuff....LMAO...
wilbur1
Tech Sergeant
I did not spill my beer !!!!!!
DBII
Senior Master Sergeant
I have not been able to follow get luck the past couple of weeks. I am exhausted from trying to read everything between phone calls at work. I had to get a new keyboard after Pepsi went flying out of my noise. I knocked over the can trying to clean up. I may have cracked a rib laughing. My coworkers are fitting me for a straight jacket! Will someone send me a Lucky Monopoloy game to play after I am institutionalized?
dbii
dbii
